Guest bullterrier Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 Actual ads from the Lonely Hearts pages of ' Ireland 's Own' > > > > Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous séx addict interested in > > a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club > > and has been known to start fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock > > in the morning. > > > > ------------------------------ > > Donegal man, 50, in desperate need of a rÃde. Anything considered. > > > > ------------------------------ > > > > Grossly overweight Louth turf-cutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks > > nimble séx-pot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, > > candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming pássion. Must have own > > car and be willing to travel. > > > > ------------------------------- > > Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for > > the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM. > > > > -------------------------- > > Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, > > poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks > > mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce > > along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. > > Strong stomach essential. > > > > -------------------------- > > Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shÃtty > > after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, > > maybe more. > > > > -------- ------------------ > > Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bástard, living in a damp cottage in > > the arsé end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady > > with a lovely chest. > > > > ------------------------ > > Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed > > super model, who owns her own brewery and has an open-minded twin > > sister. > > > > -------------------------- > > Following a sad recent loss, teetotal Tipperary man, 53, seeks > > replacement Mammy. Must like biscuits and answer to the name Minnie. > > Thurles area. > > > > -------------------------- > > Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiancée, > > seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in > > this cruel world of hatchet-faced bÃtches Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Terrier man 38 Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lucylocket 0 Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 Dictionary for Womens Personal Ads 40ish - 49 Advenutrous - Slept with everybody Athletic - No Tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathalogical Liar Contagious smile - Does alot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very "friendly person Fun - annoying New Age - Body hair in the wrong place Open-minded - desperate Outgoing - loud and embarrassing Passionate - sloppy drunk Professional - bitch Voluptous - very fat Large frame - hugely fat wants soul mate - stalker Womens English 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7.Sure,go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. No I am not upset = of course I'm upset you moron! 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you think about? Mens English 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3.I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice clevage 5. I love you = Lets have sex now 6. I am bored = do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you uot to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit. = I'm gay Hope this helps. Lucy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stealthy1 3,964 Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,595 Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diggory 130 Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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