Favourite limerick

[sam3009 4]

the wee black dug wi the leather lug

jumped oer the wall for a kaky

the wee broon mole ran up his hole

and whistled like a blackie

[martin 332]

There was a young vampire called Mabel

With periods exceedingly stable

By the light of the moon

She sat down with a spoon

And drank herself under the table

[martin 332]

A lady who lived on a hill

Used dynamite sticks for a thrill

They found her vagina

In North Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil

[martin 332]

There once was a mouse called Keith

Who circumcised boys with his teeth

It wasn't for leisure

Or sexual pleasure

But to get to the cheese underneath

[philipmurray 0]

there was ayoung girl from madrid

who said she"d never get rid

when along came an italian with balls like a stallion

and rode her like billy the kid

Good one...

[martin 332]

there was ayoung girl from madrid

who said she"d never get rid

when along came an italian with balls like a stallion

and rode her like billy the kid

Good one...

 

 

There was a young girl from Madrid

Who thought she was in for a kid

So she fed the poor bugger on Indian rubber

And out came a Dunlop......Non skid.

[mushroom 12,434]

hey diddle diddle

the cat had a piddle all over the kitchen mat

the little dog laughed to see such fun

then he pissed all over the cat

Edited September 3, 2009 by mushroom

[Guest MADRA DUBH]

Said the snuff taking Vicar with ease

i can stiffle the noisiest snease

but in churchyard one day

his arexhole gave way

and shxt filled his pants to the knees.

[bluebell 418]

There was a young lady one fall

Who wore a newspaper dress to ball.

The dress caught fire

And burned her entire

Front page, sporting section and all.

[RicW 67]

OK GUYS AND GALS. We've had fave 60's songs, fave Dylan songs, fave fillums, fave TV progs . . . ya-di-da. Is there anybody else out there who likes limericks? Not too AH-Hem vulgar.

Just to kick off here's one of mine.

 

A young music teacher called Cleo,

Was seduced by a student from Rio.

As he pulled off her panties

She said no Andantes

Let's have it Allegro Con Brio.

 

Ric

 

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. What rude minds we have on this forum,

 

While Titian was mixing rose madder

His model was posed on a ladder

Her position to Titian

Suggested coition

So he climbed up the ladder and 'ad 'er

[bullmanic 0]

there was a young fellow called perkin

who was always jerkin his gherkin

his father said perkin

stop jerkin yer gherkin

ya gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin

 

ffs ive just nearly wet misen

and martin....a lifes what you need fella

[tote 843]

There was an old woman from spain

who jumped on the back of a train

the train gave a grunt

an she fell on her c**t

now the old cow has to walk hame

 

or

 

On yonder hill there stood a dookit

its no there noo cause someone took it

 

Or

 

On yonder hill there stood a coo

It must've moved cause it's no there noo.

[RicW 67]

OK GUYS AND GALS. We've had fave 60's songs, fave Dylan songs, fave fillums, fave TV progs . . . ya-di-da. Is there anybody else out there who likes limericks? Not too AH-Hem vulgar.

Just to kick off here's one of mine.

 

A young music teacher called Cleo,

Was seduced by a student from Rio.

As he pulled off her panties

She said no Andantes

Let's have it Allegro Con Brio.

 

Ric

 

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. What rude minds we have on this forum,

 

While Titian was mixing rose madder

His model was posed on a ladder

Her position to Titian

Suggested coition

So he climbed up the ladder and 'ad 'er

 

And just for the hellavit the rudest limerick ever. Or can you beat this?

 

There was a young fellow from Buckingham

Who dreamt of tits and of sucking 'em

He watched all the c**nts

Who were out in the punts

And the tricks of the pri**s who were fu**ing 'em.