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Sniper joke


Guest buster321c

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Guest buster321c

Two regulars turn up at their golf course ready for their round when one of them notices a feller hanging around, looking like his partner hasn’t showed.

“Care to make up a three ?†one of them asks

“Be delighted – partner can’t make it†he replies.

Anyhow, as they’re making their way to the first tee, making small talk, one of them asks the feller what he does for a living.

“Well,†he says “I know this is not easy to swallow, but the fact is, I’m a hit man!â€

Realising that neither of them believe him, he motions them to look inside his bag of clubs, where nestling among the irons and woods is the most mouth-watering Martini snipers rifle, topped off with a drainpipe-sized scope.

“ My God!†says one of the guys, “ I only live just off the edge of the course – I bet I could see my house through that!â€

Looking around to make sure they’re on their own, the hit man tells him to take a peek.

“Jesus, I can see my bedroom wallpaper through this!†he says , and then “ for fu**s sake, my wife’s still not dressed - hold on what’s my neighbour Bill doing in there?â€

As soon as he realises what Bill’s doing, he asks the hit man to shoot them.

He doesn’t want them killed, just warned off, so they agree on £1000 per hit - £2000 total.

The hit man takes up a semi-prone position on the edge of a bunker, then asks the guy where he’d like them shot.

“ Shoot Bill in the cock so he can’t ever do this again†he says, “ and shoot her in the mouth so’s she cant ever boast about it!â€

The hit man takes careful aim, and then after what seems ages, the guy asks him why he hasn’t fired yet.

“ Well you were kind enough to offer me a round of golf when you didn’t have to, I kind of like you and feel sorry for you, so wait a few more seconds, let me get my timing right, and let’s see if I can save you a grand!!!!

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