jultaylor1972 2 Posted July 5, 2008 Report Share Posted July 5, 2008 Terrier Lady sent me this and I roared with laughter, so I thought I'd share it. Real notes on patients records!1/ She has no rigors or shaking chills but her husband stated she was hot in bed last night. 2/Patient has chest pain if she lies on her side for over a year. 3/ on the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 4/the patient is tearful and crying constantly, she also appears to be depressed. 5/The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993 6/Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 7/ Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 8/ the patient refused autopsy. 9/The patient has no previous history of suicides. 10/Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 11/patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days. 12/Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13/She is numb from her toes down. 14/while in A+E she was x rated and sent home 15/ The skin was moist and dry 16/ Occasional, constant infrequent headaches 17/Patient was alert and unresponsive 18/Rectal exam revealed a normal sized thyroid 19/She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce 20/ I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy 21/ Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation 22/Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized 23/ the lab test indicated abnormal lover function 24/the patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. 25/Skin: somewhat pale but present. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 5, 2008 Report Share Posted July 5, 2008 Nice Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted July 5, 2008 Report Share Posted July 5, 2008 Brilliant! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trappa 518 Posted July 5, 2008 Report Share Posted July 5, 2008 Made me chuckle! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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