Ratman2 2 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 And before anyone from Liverpool has a go at me, my wife is a Scouser. An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!' Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!' Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets Go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.' Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, 'Back off mate, I'm on disability benefit. ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the Counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'.. The man behind the counter replied 'Your timing is amazing. We've just got One in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his Nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their Overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year'. The Scouser said 'You're bullsh*tting me!' The man behind the counter said 'Well you started it!' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Police cordoned off Liverpool City Centre this morning when a suspicious object was discovered in a car. It later turned out to be a tax disc. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest manda Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Coney 3 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Liked the "tax disc" one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SEAN3513 7 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 whats the difference between a scouser and batman????? batman can go out without robin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
speedlamper 0 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 THE LIVERPOOL BRANCH OF THE AA Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bullterrier Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 the people in my fair city can have a laught were famous for it from a very proud scouser.. ..john Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnipper 6,855 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 A couple of pics Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnipper 6,855 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Another Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bullterrier Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Another i must admit i support everton and dont know any of these jokers . ...john Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SEAN3513 7 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 the people in my fair city can have a laught were famous for it from a very proud scouser.. ..john thats what i love about liverpool.......................f**k all!!!! no seriously john...........your sense of humour is the best anywhere.................respect!!!!! cheers lar sean Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest patterdale Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 im ofended as i am a scouser .lol. they were still funny though. anymore of that though and i will give you one of these Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jasper65 6 Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Just a few I had sent me in the past .... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Little Butch 16 Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 I've got some good pictures on my other computer, i'll upload them later Butch Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Little Butch 16 Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Liverpudlian chaps: Scouser valentines card: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfoster10 0 Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 heard them before but the pictures are funny Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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