Clancy 1 Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 (edited) I was sent this the other day. Pretty funny Subject: The Tail of the Cat-I'm still laughing... > > > We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone > can top this one: > > Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No >matter how > legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks >I'm > lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, >because > the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I >had > sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in >the next > day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the >bandage on > the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given >in to > my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new > acquisition was no problem. > > Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast >when I > heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The >garbage > disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the >button > is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset >it > yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going >and > sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll >only take > you a second." So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping >that my > silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived >her > behavior as extremely cowardly. > > Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under >the sink > to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing > > It struck without warning, and without any respect to my > circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its > gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the >fascinating > dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs She had been >poised > around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, >at the > precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I > unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I >lost all > rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising >at a > violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from >my > masculine region. > > Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or >flight" > syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. >I know > this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when >the sink > and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact >knocked me > out cold. > > When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. >Now > there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself >lying on > the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, >done-that" > paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the >paramedics > were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all >the while > trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not >succeeding. > > Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I >finally made > it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an >explanation out > of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too >painful to > talk about,which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat >got your > tongue?" > > If they only knew! > > Why is it that only the women laugh at this? Edited February 8, 2008 by Clancy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,536 Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 That's not original, it was originally posted by Claude Bowles! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy 1 Posted February 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 That's not original, it was originally posted by Claude Bowles! Sorry Claude. Someone just sent me an email with it in it. Still funny. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,536 Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Clawed Balls, see? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Coney 3 Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 An amusing story whoever wrote it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy 1 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Clawed Balls, see? Man am I dense. Claude Bowles! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BlueCoyote 0 Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 thing is .. i bet its true lol i have heard similar stories too.. amazing what some men will talk about! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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