Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 So, my mum's dying of Lung Cancer as ye read this. Fact of life. Not a call for the sympathy vote. She's had a damn good innings and now she's on her way. But the craic is, as she's so far advanced, nature's quietly taking care of her like no ammount of morphine can. It started last week with a minor stroke. And, my sister, who has given up everything to go care for her, now tells me she (mum's) losing the plot entirely as her brain incrementally shuts itself down. Seems her lucidity is nodding off, like me after x Guinnii and a long, hard day. Thus the eyes of her conciousness and rationallity will pop open and she'll be perfectly ok. Then she'll laspe back into gibbering rubbish again. Hold that thought ..... Now, my mum's a woman I've barely heard swear in my life. Dad never swore around us kids. Nor did she. I got mine from the streets and playground. Not from my home enviroment. But we are truly wonderous and complex pieces of work, we humans. Our brains are capable of feats beyond knowing, every day. Our senses are dulled only by our own lack of attention to them. Thus we don't even register, on a concious level, a fraction of the input we recieve and store. Sights. Sounds. Smells. Snatches of over heard conversation. If it touches us, we'll have it retained somewhere. And the other day was my niece, Vikki's, birthday. Mum managed to recognise that fact ~ maybe with a little prompting? I don't know. But a card materialised and, with much metaphorical pencil licking, my old mum sat down to write a few last loving words to her cherished grandchild. Unfortunately, somewhere between the intent and the action, nature had one of her moments and mums mind took a left hand turn. Some files on her internal Hard Drive corrupted and it all went a little wrong. Thus my sister, niece, self and ~ when she snapped back and realised what she'd done ~ my mum have all now pissed ourselves laughing at what will become one of our familys most treasured heirlooms. The card my mum wrote to my niece. It was addresed with these three, 'simple' words: F*cktard, ind, Gran. Where in hell she ever picked up a term like " F*cktard " is anyones guess. But, I'm sure ye'll agree; F*cking Priceless! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferret15 0 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 ditch my granddad went last year after a series of strokes after the first one he had to have some checks done at the hospital when they were checking his sight they covered his left eye asked him what he could see and his reply was f**k all thats a glass eye Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SNAP SHOT 194 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 WELL done to mum i say priceless.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MOLLY Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Lmfao....priceless MOLL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jrb 0 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 This has brought a smile to my face... I lost my mum this May to cancer, but previous to that my nan moved back from Dublin to live with my mum & dad due to being 95 years old. I could tell you many storys, but the best ones are as follows; she was under some impression that my boy Regan , was called Willie... She used to greet him with hugs and kisses and say 'Willie, how are you my boy', Regan used to reply 'no nan, my names Regan' but she was never put off. Another Easter, my wife had a large box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates that she offered around. When she offered my nan a achocolate, my nan thought the whole box was a present and said 'Oh thank you dear, you should'nt have' then proceede to eat the whole tray of chocolates ! She used to go to bed about 8Pm, and after being helped to bed by my mum, my mum & dad relaxed in front of the telly. About 9pm my nan reappeared , fully dressed asking if her breakfast was ready, after having slept for half an hour then awoken and not being too sure of the 9am/9pm thing.. Both sadly gone now ,but these little memories are priceless... Hope I hav'nt bored anybody with these .... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest k9wpg Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 This has brought a smile to my face... I lost my mum this May to cancer, but previous to that my nan moved back from Dublin to live with my mum & dad due to being 95 years old.I could tell you many storys, but the best ones are as follows; she was under some impression that my boy Regan , was called Willie... She used to greet him with hugs and kisses and say 'Willie, how are you my boy', Regan used to reply 'no nan, my names Regan' but she was never put off. Another Easter, my wife had a large box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates that she offered around. When she offered my nan a achocolate, my nan thought the whole box was a present and said 'Oh thank you dear, you should'nt have' then proceede to eat the whole tray of chocolates ! She used to go to bed about 8Pm, and after being helped to bed by my mum, my mum & dad relaxed in front of the telly. About 9pm my nan reappeared , fully dressed asking if her breakfast was ready, after having slept for half an hour then awoken and not being too sure of the 9am/9pm thing.. Both sadly gone now ,but these little memories are priceless... Hope I hav'nt bored anybody with these .... No mate both you and Mr Ditchy have a way with words...you never know what you had till its gone ....Its odd aint it that the funny thins are usually the sharpest memories..My wife nursed her mum through the big c last year but one of the funniest memories of her was last bonfire night... Id bought a load of cheap firework most were damp squibs Fatherin law picked them up of the patio and in his wisdom decided to throw them into the bonny against everyones advice as he loaded them into the fire the mother law calmly walked to the kitchen patio door and locked him out the look on his face as the damp squibs finally decided to put on a show as my father inlaw reached for the door handle to find it locked as rockets roman candles started to erupt from the fire...feck the loo on his face and hers still cracks me up... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andy mecca 5 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 brilliant D S Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nelson 0 Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 She used to go to bed about 8Pm, and after being helped to bed by my mum, my mum & dad relaxed in front of the telly. About 9pm my nan reappeared , fully dressed asking if her breakfast was ready, after having slept for half an hour then awoken and not being too sure of the 9am/9pm thing.. Both sadly gone now ,but these little memories are priceless... Hope I hav'nt bored anybody with these .... Brilliant mate and to you too Ditchy Strange how the old and young always get on better than us clever middle aged b'stards eh It's sad when it comes but they're lives are worth celebrating eh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
polecat 1 Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 sorry to hear about your loved one lost my dad to same this year my thoughts are with you and your family Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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