steve66 3,810 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. He looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog." Edited January 24, 2013 by steve66 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 LOL ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bullterrier Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 9,835 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) Edited January 24, 2013 by bob.243 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chris k 205 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcherman2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 9,835 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 What is it?? Give it here" "No, it's mine" "Let me have it" "It’s my turn!" "You had it last" "f**k off!!" "Come on gimme it" "No way!" "But it's my go!!" .... Siamese twins having a wank Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 9,835 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Lost my job as a lifeguard yesterday. Apparently refusing a Muslim entry to the pool whilst tapping the "No bombing" sign isn't the done thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 9,835 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Man walks into WH Smith and says "Do you have the new self-help book for men with really small dicks?" Girl says "I don’t think it’s in yet" He replies "Yeah, that’s the one!!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 9,835 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years." His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 9,835 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Woman goes to the Doctors and says "I'm getting too much discharge". Doctor says "Pop your knickers off and slip onto the bed". He puts on his latex gloves and applies 3 fingers into her vagina. "How does that feel?" he asks. "f*****g lovely" she replies "But the discharge is in my ear !" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MAACCY 105 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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