ginga john 268 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary). Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker. Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford. If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam. They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly. When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau. The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Doreen has plenty stacked up on her doorstep. News flashes: A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related. Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 & 8. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him. feel free to add as many as you like Edited June 28, 2012 by ginga john 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marshman 7,758 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 I've been drinking a lot of brake fluid lately... I'm not addicted, I can stop at any time A young women knocked at my door tonight looking for sperm donors. I gave her a right mouthful. My Thai girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd still prefer it if she didn't have one. I'm hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach an orgasm. If you can't come please let me know. Me and the wife decided to make our own sex tape.She was pissed off when I started auditions for her part! Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it Just found out my mate died, overdosed on indigestion medicine. I can't believe it - Gav is gone! Man & wife are cooing over their new born baby. "Look at his knob" says the man "It's massive!" "Yes dear" says the wife, "but at least he's got your eyes! A man who took Air Lingus to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case. Women constantly carry on about how they can fake an orgasm for the sake of the relationship but we all know the real heroes are men, they can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marshman 7,758 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Exit signs? There on the way out! Black beauty ? Now there's a dark horse! Velcro? What a rip of! Crime on multi storey car parks? That's wrong on so many different levels! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,982 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Everybody been watching Tim Vine? :laugh: Cheers, D. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marshman 7,758 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 Tim vine is funny though! I had a car crash and a dwarf got out of the other car and said" I'm not happy" so I said which one are you then? Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Caprelous 217 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) Is masturbating on a plane considered hijacking? Edited June 28, 2012 by Caprelous Quote Link to post Share on other sites
theferreter 311 Posted June 28, 2012 Report Share Posted June 28, 2012 if your granny had balls shed be your granda Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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