jokes

[The one 8,588]

To maintain a healthy level of  insanity

 

1 At lunch time ,Sit in your parked car with Sunglasses on and point a hair drier at passing cars .see if they slow down .

 

2 On all your own cheque stubs write " For Marijuana" 

 

3 Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat ,with a serious  face.

 

4 When the money comes out the  cash machine .Scream " I won I won !.

 

5 When leaving the zoo ,Start Running towards the CAR Park ,Yelling "Run for your lives !They're loose!

 

6 Tell your children over dinner ,due to the Economy,were are going to have to let one of you go!.

 

and the best is last

 

7 Pick up a box of condoms at the shop  go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is . 

 

 

[richc12 84]

Alex higgins is due to be buried in a peaceful corner of a cemetery..

 

at one side a chineseman,the other a jamaican and in front of him an asian..

 

a family spokesman has said " he's completely snookered behind the yellow,black and brown"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[herdwick 52]

I got a new stick deodorant today.

The instructions said Remove cap and push up bottom.

 

I can barely walk but every time I fart the room smells lovely.

[Lab 10,979]

I got a new stick deodorant today.

The instructions said Remove cap and push up bottom.

 

I can barely walk but every time I fart the room smells lovely.

[CarraghsGem 92]

I got a new stick deodorant today.

The instructions said Remove cap and push up bottom.

 

I can barely walk but every time I fart the room smells lovely.

 

:thumbs:

[readie 184]

At an England training session, Rooney gets the ball takes it round Ashley cole, shaun wright-Phillips, emile heskey, rio ferdinand and Micah Richards. Fabio shakes his head and shouts "cones Wayne I see go round the f*****g cones.