watchman 256 Posted October 15, 2009 Report Share Posted October 15, 2009 A man walks into a welsh pub,and orders a white wine spritzer the bar goes silent as everyone stares at him... "where are you from?you sound English" "im from just across the severn"replies the man nervously "What do you do,just across the severn" "Im a taxidermist" "What on earth is one of those?" i"I mount animals" "Its alright boys"shouts the barman "Hes one of us!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,597 Posted October 15, 2009 Report Share Posted October 15, 2009 :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stealthy1 3,964 Posted October 15, 2009 Report Share Posted October 15, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RaiderBoy 19 Posted October 15, 2009 Report Share Posted October 15, 2009 A man walks into a welsh pub,and orders a white wine spritzerthe bar goes silent as everyone stares at him... "where are you from?you sound English" "im from just across the severn"replies the man nervously "What do you do,just across the severn" "Im a taxidermist" "What on earth is one of those?" i"I mount animals" "Its alright boys"shouts the barman "Hes one of us!" ohh ha ha Richard Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RaiderBoy 19 Posted October 15, 2009 Report Share Posted October 15, 2009 (edited) An Australian, an Irishman and a English man are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!' Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!' Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets Go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.' Jesus then approaches the English man who says, 'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit. An English man walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the Counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'. The man behind the cou nter replied 'Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year'. The Scouser said 'You're bullshitting me!' The man behind the counter said 'Well you started it!' Police cordoned off Liverpool City Centre this morning when a suspicious object was discovered in a car. It later turned out to be a tax disc. Cheers Richard Edited October 15, 2009 by RaiderBoy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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