Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted August 20, 2006 Report Share Posted August 20, 2006 Maybe it's the water here? Maybe it's only the bog juice I get? I don't know. But I Do know this: From the first morning I woke up here; I haven't laid a log. When I hit that ditch? You'd think a cow had been in there Truth. What's the craic ? First morning, as my precious bodily fluids gushed and spattered into an unseemly splodge below me, I just shrugged and put it down to the high and unaccustomed sultanna count in the Brack I'd found, bought and stuffed down my throat on the way here, across country, see? Never ate those things before. Figured that was it. But, since then, I've had times when I haven't eaten brack for a week. In fact, I've had a few major changes in my diet. Same result in the mornings. First, the urge is swift to come upon me and can be quite crippling. Let's just say; No way could I contemplate a car journey untill I've dumped my load. No way. Too risky. Nor is it the Guinness. I was months here before touching a drop of drink. Drink never effected me like this before anyway. Nothing has. 'Something in the water' is all I can come up with then. Water out of my tap can look like Andrews Liver Salts sometimes. Bought myself a Britta water filter. Great looking water now. Crap's still as dire as ever though. What gives, lads? Did you find this when you got here? Want to see a photo ....? No? I could take one, tomorrow morning? How about if, for discretion, I pop it up under Wildlife Photography and ask: " What Left This Steaming Platefull In My Ditch ? " Eh? They'll all say things like; " Badger with dysentry? ". " Some dirty Pav! ". Things like that. But we'll know. Want to see some? I do plenty ..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest whippet Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Public warning: Keep all children and clean items away from this man. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Frank Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 BAD GUINESS . Frank. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest stantheman Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 I think d/s has a fettish about shite. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MikeTheDog 153 Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 :11: ...No we don't wanna see your shite :11: :sick: If it was my dog suffering from loose bowels I would do the usual starve/light food etc then feed her some natural yoghurt to re-introduce some "friendly" bacteria to the gut.....If you don't want to go down the starvation route try some dyoralite Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Uk_Hunter Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Maybe it's the water here? Maybe it's only the bog juice I get? I don't know. But I Do know this: From the first morning I woke up here; I haven't laid a log. When I hit that ditch? You'd think a cow had been in there Truth. What's the craic ? First morning, as my precious bodily fluids gushed and spattered into an unseemly splodge below me, I just shrugged and put it down to the high and unaccustomed sultanna count in the Brack I'd found, bought and stuffed down my throat on the way here, across country, see? Never ate those things before. Figured that was it. But, since then, I've had times when I haven't eaten brack for a week. In fact, I've had a few major changes in my diet. Same result in the mornings. First, the urge is swift to come upon me and can be quite crippling. Let's just say; No way could I contemplate a car journey untill I've dumped my load. No way. Too risky. Nor is it the Guinness. I was months here before touching a drop of drink. Drink never effected me like this before anyway. Nothing has. 'Something in the water' is all I can come up with then. Water out of my tap can look like Andrews Liver Salts sometimes. Bought myself a Britta water filter. Great looking water now. Crap's still as dire as ever though. What gives, lads? Did you find this when you got here? Want to see a photo ....? No? I could take one, tomorrow morning? How about if, for discretion, I pop it up under Wildlife Photography and ask: " What Left This Steaming Platefull In My Ditch ? " Eh? They'll all say things like; " Badger with dysentry? ". " Some dirty Pav! ". Things like that. But we'll know. Want to see some? I do plenty ..... you are a very strange man Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Frank Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
john b 38 Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Lets all start collecting used corks and send the man an emergency parcel. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ratcher 69 Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 hes talking a load of shite Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Simoman 110 Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 I know a good mental health nurse, send me a pm and i'll sort you out Ditch shitter. I enjoy your threads but you need help :whistle: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest baldie Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Its the water, its very soft, havent you noticed, when you wash, it feels like you havent rinsed all the soap off? it does me every year on the annual fishing trip. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Its the water, its very soft; it does me every year on the annual fishing trip. Ahhhh! I see! Yeppers. And I've Always lived in Hard water areas! Cracked it! My old dear and brother's coming over here next month! You wait! See? I wasn't f***ing about! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest wickidweasel Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 my mrs is the same when we go north Quote Link to post Share on other sites
littlefish 596 Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Weren't you the guy proud of the dirty hands, clothes and house? It's probably caught up on you mate - you may have caught dysentry or the plague! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest wickidweasel Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 I only have one tooth in the top of my head so can't bite. I live on Cambells Meatballs ("In Gorgeous Gravy") :sick: I'm absolutley f***ing sick to the gums of them! I nearly throw up, some of these nights, even as I prepare the hateful things. But it's a matter of survival, till I can get shot of that last damn tooth and gum my food. somehow i doubt its the water Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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