Rabbithunter 456 Posted August 7, 2006 Report Share Posted August 7, 2006 Some of you may have read in papers that men arent needed anymore Because of this IVF lark or something like that, we are supposed to be not needed. WELL where the hell are they going to get sperm to fertilise these eggs? Who is going to kill that big spider in the bath? Who will women twine & moan at? just to name a few reasons why we're needed, please feel free to add your reasons Quote Link to post Share on other sites
landy 0 Posted August 7, 2006 Report Share Posted August 7, 2006 ill add our credit cards and walletts Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest oldskool Posted August 7, 2006 Report Share Posted August 7, 2006 :11: :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Shaman Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 If theres no men, women can become president of the USA, and carry that natty little briefcase that can start Armageddon. Can you imagine one women with very bad PMT stomping around with no man to take out her frustration - boom end of civilization. It took men 100,00 years to tame the animals, plant the crops, sail/colonize the world invent 99.9% of the inventions worth having, and then when the back breaking work is done women decide we are useless. oops better go heard the wife coming......... :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MOLLY Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes. What's the best way to kill a man? Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..." What's the quickest way to a man's heart? Straight through the rib cage. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. And my favourite........... What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. MOLL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ricky-N.p.p 0 Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 How are husbands like lawn mowers?They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes. What's the best way to kill a man? Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..." What's the quickest way to a man's heart? Straight through the rib cage. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. And my favourite........... What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. MOLL. Physco :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
woodga 170 Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 (edited) :11: :11: von i think your sexually biased towards the more intellegent dominant sex which is of course the MALE but then of course your a BLONDE so really that says it all i hope our lass dosnt read this GOOD HUNTING ALL WOODGA :ph34r: Edited August 8, 2006 by woodga Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kane 2 Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 Q.Why are women like parking spaces? A.All the good ones are taken and the ones left over are disabled. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MOLLY Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 Q. Why do men want to marry virgins? A. They can't stand criticism. MOLL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest oldskool Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 Q. what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes. A. nothing, you have already told her twice!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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