Malt 379 Posted May 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Where you gone now Harrycat? I can't hear you any more! :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 cocky inglish pricks just make me nasty (In a voice like Michael Winner) Calm down dear, its only the Internet !! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
elmafud 12 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Well I live in the fine county of Swansea, does that count as Welsh? I think you'll find that Harrycatcat's first joke is incorrect, its "What do you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff?" :D You can tell I'm a Jack who are we jackarmy what part of swansea you from mate Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Did you hear about the Valleys girl who wanted to get dirty with her boyfriend? He took her to a coalmine. A Welsh lad came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. 'Wonderful, 'replies his mother, 'what part is it?' The boy says, 'I play the part of the Welsh husband.' The mother scowls and says, 'Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kristian 9 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted May 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 A Welsh lad came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. 'Wonderful, 'replies his mother, 'what part is it?' The boy says, 'I play the part of the Welsh husband.' The mother scowls and says, 'Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.' You know a Welsh woman then mate? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 OK I will give you thick Welsh a hand out, this what happens, I tell a joke about Welsh you tell one back. If there is anything you dont understand ask Maltenby he seems clued up compared to the rest. A farmer was out on his Welsh hillside tending his flock one day, when he saw a man drinking with a cupped hand from the stream which ran down from one of his fields. Realising the danger, he shouted over to the man, 'Paid a yfed y dwr! Mae'n ych-y-fi!' [Don't drink the water. It's disgusting!] The man at the stream lifted his head and put a cupped hand to his ear, shrugged his shoulders at the farmer, and carried on drinking. Realising the man at the stream couldn't hear him, the farmer moved closer, 'Paid a yfed! Dwr ych-y-fi! Defaid yn cachu yn y dwr!' [Don't drink. Water's disgusting. Sheep poo in the water.] Still the walker couldn't hear the farmer. Finally the farmer walked right up to the man at the stream and once again said again, 'Dwr yn ych-y-fi! Paid a'i yfed!'. [Water's disgusting. Don't drink it!] 'I'm dreadfully sorry my good man, I can't understand a word you say dear boy! Can't you speak English?' said the man at the stream in a Splendid English accent 'Oh I see', said the farmer, 'I was just saying, if you use both hands you can get more in........ ! ps Sorry to Maltenby for going off the original topic but I thought all the Welsh had gone to sleep and would not respond to you. off to bed meself now so byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WHITEYrs4 29 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 From Blackwood Some funny jokes harrycatcat only fair to give you one back Three men are sitting in the maternity ward. One is an Englishman, one a Welshman and the other a Jamaican. Suddenly a scottish doctor comes and says, “Gentlemen, your wives have all had little boys! However in the confusion we may have mixed the babies up. Could you come to the nursery to help us identify them?" The Welshman ran to the nursery, picked up a dark-skinned baby with dreadlocks and said, “This boy is mine.†The surprised doctor said, “But this child looks Jamaican.†are you sure taffy “YES,†said the Welshman “but there is a fifty fifty chance that one of the others is English, and I’m not taking the risk.†Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted May 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 From Blackwood Some funny jokes harrycatcat only fair to give you one back Three men are sitting in the maternity ward. One is an Englishman, one a Welshman and the other a Jamaican. Suddenly a scottish doctor comes and says, “Gentlemen, your wives have all had little boys! However in the confusion we may have mixed the babies up. Could you come to the nursery to help us identify them?" The Welshman ran to the nursery, picked up a dark-skinned baby with dreadlocks and said, “This boy is mine.†The surprised doctor said, “But this child looks Jamaican.†are you sure taffy “YES,†said the Welshman “but there is a fifty fifty chance that one of the others is English, and I’m not taking the risk.†:clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kristian 9 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 From Blackwood Some funny jokes harrycatcat only fair to give you one back Three men are sitting in the maternity ward. One is an Englishman, one a Welshman and the other a Jamaican. Suddenly a scottish doctor comes and says, “Gentlemen, your wives have all had little boys! However in the confusion we may have mixed the babies up. Could you come to the nursery to help us identify them?" The Welshman ran to the nursery, picked up a dark-skinned baby with dreadlocks and said, “This boy is mine.†The surprised doctor said, “But this child looks Jamaican.†are you sure taffy “YES,†said the Welshman “but there is a fifty fifty chance that one of the others is English, and I’m not taking the risk.†Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WHITEYrs4 29 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 1 MORE HAHAH Englishman, Welshman, Fit Blonde and a nun are travelling in the same train carriage. The train goes thorugh a dark tunnel and a SMACK sound. When the train emerges from the tunnel into the light, the Englishman is in agony - rubbing his face. The Nun thinks - ' i bet he tried to touch up the blonde girl and she slapped him.' The Blonde thinks - ' i bet he tried to cop a feel off the Nun and she slapped him' Welshman thinks - 'I can't wait 2 go through another tunnel so i can hit that English c**t again!' :friends: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted May 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 :clapper: @Whitey Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greatwhitehunter 47 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 1 MORE HAHAH Englishman, Welshman, Fit Blonde and a nun are travelling in the same train carriage. The train goes thorugh a dark tunnel and a SMACK sound. When the train emerges from the tunnel into the light, the Englishman is in agony - rubbing his face. The Nun thinks - ' i bet he tried to touch up the blonde girl and she slapped him.' The Blonde thinks - ' i bet he tried to cop a feel off the Nun and she slapped him' Welshman thinks - 'I can't wait 2 go through another tunnel so i can hit that English c**t again!' :friends: haha a gooden! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
danielt 1 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 (edited) A little saying that we have around here. Red sky in morning, English houses on fire ! I'm near Bridgend. Edited May 15, 2009 by danielt Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SportingShooter 0 Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Well I live in the fine county of Swansea, does that count as Welsh? I think you'll find that Harrycatcat's first joke is incorrect, its "What do you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff?" :D You can tell I'm a Jack who are we jackarmy what part of swansea you from mate The rough end of the trench Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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