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This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would

spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house,

he was told that the only way he could play today was if he

was willing to play along with three nuns.

He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. At the first hole

he said, after you, and the nuns insisted that he go first.

He took a giant swing and sliced it into a nearby bunker.

"Goddammit!" he said.

"Oh, my, please refrain from using that kind of language

around us." said the nun.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am, it won't happen again."

The nun gets up to the tee and her ball travels about twenty

yards, hits a tree, and bounces back behind them.

"Well shit, Goddamn, hell, f**k!" exclaims the nun.

"Hey, what did you tell me about that?" asks the man.

"Yeah, well, you didn't hit a f****n' tree."

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a son asks his dad the difference between

"theoretically" & "realistically", dad say's thats hard,

but i have an idea, ask mum if she would sleep with the milkman,

for a million quid. lad comes back "mum say's yes".

right now go ask your sister if she would sleep

with the coalman for 2 million quid,

lad comes back again," sister say's yes dad.

well there you go son,thts your answer,

theoretically were sitting on 3 million quid,

but realistically were living with 2 slags

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a son asks his dad the difference between

"theoretically" & "realistically", dad say's thats hard,

but i have an idea, ask mum if she would sleep with the milkman,

for a million quid. lad comes back "mum say's yes".

right now go ask your sister if she would sleep

with the coalman for 2 million quid,

lad comes back again," sister say's yes dad.

well there you go son,thts your answer,

theoretically were sitting on 3 million quid,

but realistically were living with 2 slags

 

excellent!!!!!

 

really made me laugh so much i almost pissed my pants :rofl:

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little girl finds her dog dead with it's legs in the air,

and asks ger dad why it's like that.dad say's it's died

and is like that so jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven.

next day she say's "dad, mum nearly died 2day.

she was on her back with her legs in the air,

shouting oh jesus i'm coming, i'm coming,

and if the milkman hadn't been holding her down

we'd have lost her.

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