The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Irish girl goes to the doc and ask's for the pill the doctor says your already 6 months ,She says i know but paddies found another hole and i dont want a lump on my back as well Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Whats a catholic Priest and a pint of Guiness got in common?. Black coat ,white collar and god help your arse if you get a dodgy one ..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Man in a hotel lift accidently hits a woman's breast with his elbow.Man apologizes and say's " If your heart is as soft as your breast you'll forgive me ".Woman replies " If your dick is as hard as your elbow im in room 243 ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 O.A.P. goes to the doctor and ask's for 4 viagra ,doctor say's surely your not having sex at your age ? .O.A.P. replies no it's to stop me pishing on my slippers Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Every mans dream Daughter on the cover of Vogue,Son on the cover of a sports mag , Mistress on the cover of Playboy and wife on the cover of missing persons. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 A loving husband had I LOVE YOU tattoed on his penis .When he got home he showed it to his wife .She said " there you go again trying to put f*****g word's in my mouth Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 A 93 year old man sitting on the curb crying ,a passer by ask's him whats up, The old man moan's Im 93 married to a 21 year old who wants sex twice before breakfast ,twice before lunch,once before tea and twice again at night !. So the passer by said " well whats the problem? .The old guy replies " i cant remember where i live !" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Murphy walks into a chemist and say's ive three girls coming over tonight .I need somthing to keep me horny and potent .The pharmacist gives him a small box marked viagra Extra Strenght . Next day murphy limps back .His manhood is black and blue ,skin hanging off .Give me some deep heat ,he moans .Jesus Murphy ,you can't put Deep Heat on that say's the chemist . No replies Murphy It's for my arm , the girls never showed up !" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferreterni 29 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Mickey mouse in solicitors office; Im sorry mickey, says solicitor. minnie having big teeth is no grounds for a divorce. Mickey: I didnt say she had big teeth, i said she was fu**ing goofy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferreterni 29 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Whats E.T short for? Cos he's only got little legs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet.His owners disgusted at him and puts him in the freezer to cool off.Later when he opens the freezer he found the parrot sweating ." How come your sweating ?" He ask's .The parrot replie's " Do you know how f*****g hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken ??" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 An Alcoholic, A Chain smoker and A homosexual go to the doctors .The Doctor says ," If any of you indulge one more time you'll die " . As they walk home they pass a bar. The Alcoholic has a shot of whiskey, falls of his stool stone cold dead. His friends are shocked,as they walk along they come upon a fag end lying in the gutter still burning .The Homosexual looks at the chain smoker and says " If you bend over to pick that up we're both dead". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Three women talking about there husband's .One says i call mine the dentist no one can drill like he does. Second woman giggled i call mine a miner because he's got a big shaft. Number three frowned i called mine the POSTMAN because the b*****d comes so early and half the time he sticks it in the wrong f*****g box Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 New fanny wash available to women.It's made of Marijuana,Anti-perspirant and Kentucky fried chicken. It leaves your fanny high,dry and finger licking good Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,592 Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Bloke out for a walk see a blonde on a cliff edge ."are you going to jump ?". Yeah replies the blonde." Before you do would you give me a blowjob?". " Okay" and gives him the best blowjob he's ever had. " I cant believe with talent like that you would want to kill yourself ".I know but my parents just cant accept me dressing like a girl Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.