Jokes

[Major Badger 2]

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go

into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane

in a passionate embrace.

 

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as

he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mommy, I was at the

playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to

look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her

take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his

pants off, then Aunt Jane...'

 

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such

an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper

time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it

tonight.'

 

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his

story. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I

saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to

look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take

off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off,

then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and

Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.'

 

 

 

Mommy

fainted!

 

 

 

Moral:

Sometimes you need to listen to the whole

story before you interrupt!

 

 

 

 

One more.........

 

 

 

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

 

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

 

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

 

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

 

"Did you help him?" she asks.

 

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"

 

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

 

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

 

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

 

"Yes," comes back the answer.

 

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

 

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

 

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

[harrycatcat 31]