JOKE

[Guest lurcher-lass]

 

very good

[BLACKBOB 9]

What goes beeeeeep, beeeeeep, beeeeeep, beeeeeep

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sound of Englands rugby world cup champions, open top bus reversing into the garage !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Cheers bob

[Guest lurcher-lass]

HAhHAhaha

[Guest lurcher-lass]

I will seek and find you.

 

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you

 

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

 

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

 

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

 

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

 

All my love,

 

The Flu

 

[Guest lurcher-lass]

received this by email on what doctors write on the patients charts/notes:

 

Written on hospital charts:

 

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

 

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

 

3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

 

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

 

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

 

6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

 

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

 

8. The patient refused autopsy.

 

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

 

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

 

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

 

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

 

13. She is numb from her toes down.

 

14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

 

15. The skin was moist and dry.

 

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

 

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

 

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

 

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

 

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

 

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

 

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

 

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

 

24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

 

25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

 

26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

 

27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

 

28. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.