HaHaHa

[christian71 3,187]

My wife asked for a spa for her birthday, so I contacted the local boxing club a organized a session with some double hard b*****d

[gamerooster 1,179]

A woman answers the door to a market researcher. "Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?"

"Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."

"Do you use it for anything else?"

"Like what?"

"Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex."

"Oh, of course. Yes, I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out!!!

Edited September 30, 2012 by gamerooster

[gamerooster 1,179]

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.

Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"

"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."

[christian71 3,187]

"Go and have a look at the size of the shit I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.

 

"No thanks," she replied.

 

"Please, just one quick look," I said, "You won't believe it."

 

She pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet, then ran out and said, "There's nothing down there, you must've flushed it."

 

I said, "It's on the scales."

[christian71 3,187]

"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"

 

Always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation with me.