christian71 3,187 Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 FOR THE ONE'S THAT HAVE NOT HEARD IT BEFORE A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub... What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer.." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!" "Sounds marvelous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck. "Where is it?" "At the circus," Says the barman. "The circus?" Repeats the duck. "That's right," Replies the barman. "The circus?" The duck asks again. "with the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies. "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck. "That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says ................................................. "What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer??!" 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
00taz11 39 Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 What does the duck f*****g say lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 What does the duck f*****g say lol "What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer??!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
00taz11 39 Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 Sorry pal never seen the end lol was a goodun lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EVERYDOGHASHISDAY 9 Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 Your quackers mate, 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mooch. 177 Posted February 21, 2012 Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 I know this joke but read it through anyway. The old ones are the best! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest thebigdog Posted February 21, 2012 Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,399 Posted February 21, 2012 Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 :laugh: Or the duck having sex at a hotel and realizes he has no condom so phones room service to get one sent up and room service says do you want it on your bill the duck replies , do i look like a pervert Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.