Foxgun Tom 75 Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 CONQUER THE SCOTS... A true account!! Edward I of England comes to Scotland to conquer the Scots. He brings 4,000 men with him. As he nears the battlefield, There suddenly appears a solitary figure on the crest of the hill. A short, ginger-haired guy in a kilt. 'Come up here, ya English b*****ds, and I'll give ye a hammerin'!' Edward turns to his commander. 'Send 20 men to deal with that little Scottish upstart, he says. The commander sends twenty of his best men over the hill to kill the Scotsman Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears again. 'Ya English diddies!' he yells. ‘Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I'll take ye all on!' Edward is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his commander. 'Send 100 men to kill that little shite!' The commander sends 100 men Over the hill to do the job. Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the hill once more, his hair all sticking up, his shirt a wee bit torn. 'Ya English SCUM!' he yells. 'I'm just warming up!! Come and get me, Ya English shites !!' Edward losses patience. 'Commander, take 400 men and personally wipe that little b*****d off the face of the earth!' he yells. The commander gulps, but leads four Hundred men on horseback over the crest of the hill. Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all torn, his face is covered in blood, Snot and Irn-Bru. 'Is that the best ye can do??? You're bloody WUMMIN!!! Come on!! Come and have a go, ya bunch of English Shites!!!' he yells. Edward turns to his second in command. 'Take 1,000 men over that hill and don't come back till you've killed that little red haired b*****d!' he commands. The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate. Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears back at the top of the hill, covered in blood, his clothes all torn off his back. 'Your Majesty!' he yells. 'It's a trap!!! There's fucken two of them!!!' Tom 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RossM 8,149 Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 lol, heard it before.......still gid tho! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 CONQUER THE SCOTS... A true account!! Edward I of England comes to Scotland to conquer the Scots. He brings 4,000 men with him. As he nears the battlefield, There suddenly appears a solitary figure on the crest of the hill. A short, ginger-haired guy in a kilt. 'Come up here, ya English b*****ds, and I'll give ye a hammerin'!' Edward turns to his commander. 'Send 20 men to deal with that little Scottish upstart, he says. The commander sends twenty of his best men over the hill to kill the Scotsman Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears again. 'Ya English diddies!' he yells. ‘Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I'll take ye all on!' Edward is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his commander. 'Send 100 men to kill that little shite!' The commander sends 100 men Over the hill to do the job. Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the hill once more, his hair all sticking up, his shirt a wee bit torn. 'Ya English SCUM!' he yells. 'I'm just warming up!! Come and get me, Ya English shites !!' Edward losses patience. 'Commander, take 400 men and personally wipe that little b*****d off the face of the earth!' he yells. The commander gulps, but leads four Hundred men on horseback over the crest of the hill. Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all torn, his face is covered in blood, Snot and Irn-Bru. 'Is that the best ye can do??? You're bloody WUMMIN!!! Come on!! Come and have a go, ya bunch of English Shites!!!' he yells. Edward turns to his second in command. 'Take 1,000 men over that hill and don't come back till you've killed that little red haired b*****d!' he commands. The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate. Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears back at the top of the hill, covered in blood, his clothes all torn off his back. 'Your Majesty!' he yells. 'It's a trap!!! There's fucken two of them!!!' Tom ....can i pretend thats a true story?.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxgun Tom 75 Posted February 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 It is a true story! Tom Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest thebigdog Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 cracker Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blan89 159 Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 give it 6 months and the jocks will be teaching this in their schools lol a bit like the they really run the British empire. pretty much everything that happened in the film Braveheart and my personal favourite % of the SAS are Scottish Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxgun Tom 75 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) give it 6 months and the jocks will be teaching this in their schools lol a bit like the they really run the British empire. pretty much everything that happened in the film Braveheart and my personal favourite % of the SAS are Scottish If you look at British history you'l discover that Scots and Scottish regiments after the 45 rebellion were an integral part of the founding and defending the British Empire in India, America, Canada, Australia, Asia and South Africa. Some of the founding fathers and early statesmen of America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand etc: were Scots At least education is still free in Scotlands school's college's and university's Braveheart was shite!!! and a substantial part of it was historically inaccurate! As for the SAS it was founded by a Scot (David Stirling, a Scottish Laird) see link: http://www.sasspecialairservice.com/david-stirling.html and at least four of the SAS troopers who entered the Iranian embassy to end the seige and rescue Trevor Locke and other hostages were Scots Tom Edited February 27, 2011 by Foxgun Tom Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 watched a docu few backs about a scottish guy who basically built australia up.and is still a pretty big icon today in oz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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