mcass123 6 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 a catholic guy was walking through the park and spotted a jew sitting on a bench, he goes up to the jew and sets about him, giving him a real kicking, the jew shouts, "what the fcuks this for"?, the catholic guy says, "you barstards killed jesus", the jew said "yeah but that was thousands of years ago", catholic guys says "yeah but i only found out about it today"!!!! last night i found a young homeless girl hidden amongst the bins. she was dirty and smelled terrible but i knew under that grime was a pretty girl. i took her in and bathed her, as i toweled her down i became aroused. one thing led to another and before i knew it i was frantically fcuking her on the bathroom floor.......... at one point i was banging her so hard you would have thought she was still alive!!! the night before christmas and throughout the house, we were all fcuked, even the mouse dad at the brothel, mum with uncle frank, i'd sellted down for a nice slow wank. outside the house i heard a right clatter, i let go of my cock to see what was the matter. out on the lawn i saw a big dick, i knew right away it was old saint nick. he came down the chimeny like a bat out of hell, the big fat fcuker i think he fell. he filled all our stockings with sweets and beer and a big rubber cock for my brother the queer. he rose up the chimeny with a thunderous fart, the big fat cnut blew the the house apart. he swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight shoutin, i'll be back next year, have a hell of a night. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
genuine 81 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 Charging through the snow on my V8 sledge,crashing into tree's cos im off me f*****g head,been smoking billy too,a dozen beers or more,im heading to the red light district to get myself a whore! Oh... jingle bells,jingle bells santas smoking weed,miss's clause is on the floor shes over dozed on speed,blitzen's f****d,the elves are too they're peacking off their heads,and if rudolf snorts another line, the prick will end up dead! MERRY CHRISTMAS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Attack Fell Terrier 864 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 I'm not normally suspicious but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected that special resin into her crack.....she hasn't even got a car!! I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Gran's dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. ... last night i found a young homeless girl hidden amongst the bins. she was dirty and smelled terrible but i knew under that grime was a pretty girl. i took her in and bathed her, as i toweled her down i became aroused. one thing led to another and before i knew it i was frantically fcuking her on the bathroom floor.......... at one point i was banging her so hard you would have thought she was still alive!!! the night before christmas and throughout the house, we were all fcuked, even the mouse dad at the brothel, mum with uncle frank, i'd sellted down for a nice slow wank. outside the house i heard a right clatter, i let go of my cock to see what was the matter. out on the lawn i saw a big dick, i knew right away it was old saint nick. he came down the chimeny like a bat out of hell, the big fat fcuker i think he fell. he filled all our stockings with sweets and beer and a big rubber cock for my brother the queer. he rose up the chimeny with a thunderous fart, the big fat cnut blew the the house apart. he swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight shoutin, i'll be back next year, have a hell of a night. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL. BWAHAHAHA Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jo54 255 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 I'm not normally suspicious but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected that special resin into her crack.....she hasn't even got a car!! I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Gran's dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. ... last night i found a young homeless girl hidden amongst the bins. she was dirty and smelled terrible but i knew under that grime was a pretty girl. i took her in and bathed her, as i toweled her down i became aroused. one thing led to another and before i knew it i was frantically fcuking her on the bathroom floor.......... at one point i was banging her so hard you would have thought she was still alive!!! the night before christmas and throughout the house, we were all fcuked, even the mouse dad at the brothel, mum with uncle frank, i'd sellted down for a nice slow wank. outside the house i heard a right clatter, i let go of my cock to see what was the matter. out on the lawn i saw a big dick, i knew right away it was old saint nick. he came down the chimeny like a bat out of hell, the big fat fcuker i think he fell. he filled all our stockings with sweets and beer and a big rubber cock for my brother the queer. he rose up the chimeny with a thunderous fart, the big fat cnut blew the the house apart. he swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight shoutin, i'll be back next year, have a hell of a night. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL. BWAHAHAHA Quote Link to post Share on other sites
genuine 81 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 A virgin, a baby in a crib, a donkey, three men on camels and some sheep. The nativity, or the best porn film ever made? My sister just shared a christmas cracker with my Mum. She read out that little piece of paper containing the worst jokes ever. It read... "What do you call two robbers?" "A pair of knickers." I could've swore she said "A pair of niggers." That would have worked too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rock 64 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArchieHood 3,692 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 The homeless problem would be solved if the Big Issue had tits in it. All this talk about Christmas number ones, got me thinking... What was number 1 last Christmas? And then I remembered, Jade Goody's Haircut. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wee gemm hunter 8 Posted December 17, 2009 Report Share Posted December 17, 2009 A charity pantomime in aid of paranoid shizophrenics and homosexuals decended into chaos when somebody shouted 'HE'S BEHIND YOU' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mcass123 6 Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 man goes to the vet with his pet rottwieler, vet asks, "whats the problem?" man says, my dog has cross eyes, vet says, lets have a look at him, so he picks the dog up, examines his eyes and teeth, he turns to the man and says, i am going to have to put him down, man says why? for having cross eyes?? vet says, no, because he is very heavy!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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