TOMMYONEIL

A few too many shots last night.

c'mon Barca should be a cricket score lol . hahaha

Just back from holiday in Thailand and l came so close to shagging a ladyboy. Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady! It was when she drove me to her place and reversed her car into a space first time l thought 'hang on a f****n minute?...'

Two Englishmen opening a shop in Argyle Street are sitting in the empty shop waiting on stock being delivered first Englishman says to his mate "bet you we have some nosey Scottish b*****d asking what we are selling" Sure enough within five minutes door opens and wee Glaswegian guy says 'Whit yous selling in here big man?' Englishman says "we're selling arseholes" Without missing a beat Glaswegian comes back "Yir dain well, only two left!"