just found this

[peter009988 1]

Subject: AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

 

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.

 

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

 

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!'

 

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

 

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'

 

The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

 

MORAL OF THE STORY -

 

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but all men...are men

[The one 8,399]

:clapper:

[peter009988 1]

Old Father O'Malley was strolling through the church grounds one sunny summer evening, when he came upon a littlefrog sitting by a

tree.

"My Lord," he said, picking it up: "You're the saddest, most forlorn-looking frog I've ever seen. I only wish you could speak, so that you might tell me your troubles."

The frog replied, "Actually, I can. You see, I was once a choirboy in this very parish. One day I offended a passing Gypsy, and she put a curse on me that turned me into a talking frog."

"Incredible!" said Father O'Malley. "Is there anything I might do to help you?"

"Actually yes, there is. The Gypsy said that if I can find somebody to take me home and let me sleep in their bed, the curse will be lifted and I'll be back to normal."

"Well," said Father O'Malley, "the good Lord teaches us to be charitable. I think I can manage that.

So Father O'Malley picked up the little frog and put it in his pocket. That night he placed it gently on the pillow beside him and drifted off into a long, dreamy sleep. When he awoke the next morning, the frog had turned back into a choirboy, just as it had said it would.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that, Your Honour, is the case for the defence...

[peter009988 1]

A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

 

 

 

 

Guy behind the counter asks,

"Male or female?"

Customer says,

"Female"

 

 

 

 

"Black or white?"

"White"

 

 

 

"Christian or Muslim?"

"What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Counter guy says,

"The Muslim one blows itself up."