think youre having a bad day??

[dogman89 0]

Think you are having a bad day?

 

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of

forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male

was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,

flippers, and face mask.

 

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from

massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive

identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully

clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

 

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the

coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control

the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with

very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the

site of the forest fire.

 

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the

Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300

feet in the air.

 

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading....

Still think you're having a bad day?

 

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the

kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into

gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it

burst through the glass patio doors.

 

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and

bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an

ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the

several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her

husband.

 

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the

motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled

gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

 

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the

shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into

the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his

business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

 

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband

screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown

away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an

ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

 

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they

asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They

started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband

out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

 

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...

 

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill

in Alaska was $,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively

saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and

applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate

Them both.

 

Still think you are having a bad day?

 

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,

almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist

towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly

current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two

Places.

 

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

 

STILL think you're having a bad day?

 

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs

to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs

broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two

hapless protesters were trampled to death.

 

What?! STILL having a bad day??

 

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.

It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the

bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

 

 

There now, feeling better?

[High Accent 1]

Nice one there you made my day realy, thanks..