Computer Wizz's, Please Take A Look .....

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Opening a post in here takes an age, for me. I go to other 'rich' sites and it can be even worse. It's not the sites because I've viewed them on 'real' Broadband and they pop open like stink.

 

I'm on Vodafone 3G ("Wireless") and it tells me I'm on a speed of 263.8KBS.

 

I'm running through an Packard Bell 'Easynote' which seems to contain an Athlon XP-M Mobile processor.

 

I'm excrutiatingly aware that my fan is clogged up with coal dust and general gunk. The Lap Top whines like a bitch. That means my Processor likely gets hot, yes?

 

But my question is; Is the slow opening page thing liable to be due to my Connection Speed? Or my Processor? Or a combination of both?

 

If I'm ever able to buy a 'Desk Top', so I can get at, clean and / or change the fan, would this help?

 

Any help or ideas appreciated. I'm not suicidal over it ~ yet. But it Is bugging me.

[bill88 6]

Ditch,web viewing is all to do with connection speed,unless there's some snazzy graphic's or such like.My kid's have our old computer in there room,it's an old "time" computer with an 800 meg processor,i am using a nearly brand new siemen's laptop,with a dual core processor.The difference in time taken for web page's to open,is negligible.One thing i will say is this,i have an 8meg connection,i am 400yds from the exchange,and bt say i should have a 6.3 meg connection speed using adsl max.To date the fastest i have seen it is 4.5 meg (early hours),and it's been as bad as 100 k's!! HTH,Bill

Edited August 3, 2007 by bill88

[IanB 0]

I think theres going to be a documentary on tv about the ISP's ripping people off about their internet speeds feeding false information, when the speed is nowhere near what they state..

 

Ditch when my computer runs like a pig, I defragment my hard drive, your likely to have a load of other hidden stuff installed on there which could be causing you problems too if your on a poor connection...if mine gets to the point were its bugging me I just backup files and install a clean copy of xp from scratch, you know where you are then...

[ginga john 268]

Hello Ditch, a speed of 263.8KBS. is not even a third of 1 mb, most wireless connections run at a minimum speed of 54 mbps (mine does) you have a two fold problem, 1st the 3g cards are notoriously slow, and 2nd you are relieing on the speed of the nearest phone mast which will be piss poor if you are in a busy area.

answer is a wired connection straight to the hub at home and then down the phone line to the nearest exchange.

you can now also get 108 mb wireless cards but their still abit pricey.

 

hope this helps

[Guest Scuba1]

I am in the same boat as you Ditch including the Vodafone G3 card and my laptop is a bit faster then yours. It is the connection speed that slows things down nothing else. If I go outside things improve a bit but not a lot. Something we have to live with mate. :yes:

 

ATB

 

 

Michael

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Cheers, Lads Funny how only blokes know enough to form an opinion around these things, eh?

 

Anyway, sorry I've been so long in getting back. One thing and another, I lost the thread completely and am now digging around 'by hand', as it were, trying to find and catch up with earlier stuff. In fact, I seem to have lost " Posts Since ... " a few times today? God knows.

 

Ok; As we speak I'm De Fragging. Told me I didn't need to. Now it's about halfway through what looks like being a 40 minute job?! Used to do this in more like seconds, a year back! I Disc Cleaned first. Took out only about 600KB. Hardly that then.

 

I would point out she's whining and moaning like a wife as she defrags. Sounds like a blocked hoover! Makes me think of whining wives; If they can suck like a hoover ....? Discuss? ..... Anyway .....

 

Bill; 236.8. I just double checked. Now, unless I misread it last night, it looks like I'm pretty well stuck with such a speed? If I misread it last night? That's me. 'Mr 236.8'. Forever. If that's (and it certainly sounds like it!) a vile speed? Vile speed I have and ever more shall F*ck!

 

 

Ian; I'm running a pirated copy of XP Pro, mate. Mickey's sussed this and f*cked my arse rotton over it. They've now so butchered me - Switch Off Automatic UpDates, People! They Control Ye PC Through Them! - I can't get ANY disc to work on here but a music CD Shop bought DVD's, the lot. It rejects them now. Can't copy shit to a disc. Had to buy an external HDD to save my stuff on, in case this baby blows. So I can't even ReProg, and f*cked if I'm paying 350 plus for a fresh XP disc which, for all I know, this b*stard will reject!

 

Last I ever knew, ye could buy XP for 75 quid in the shops. Have I got it all wrong, or have they jacked the price BAR?

 

Ginga; I'm not on a card, but one of the little Plug and Play Modems. They sold me a 'card', but it came with a disc of software. See above; Machine was having none of it. Mickey rejected it, point blank. I MUST have P&P.

 

Phone lines? What? As in Eirc*nt? Forget it, mate. I was enquiring after their court case against me only today! They own the wires round here, and don't they f*cking know it! I should think the only reason they haven't sent their man round to simply cut and reel mine in is that I have Dogs and they figure I'll be dead soon enough and then they'll have their web in place ready to snare the next poor b*stard who lives here!

 

Scuba; I'm working on a five out of possible six bars rating here, mate. When they installed this modem, down in the big town, it went to six and red. I never really got to try surfing in the shop. But I can see the Vodafone mast from this window. Won't get a better signal round here than that, surely? My LapTop sits behind an 18" thick, stone wall. But I have the modem itself hung against a thin glass window, in sight line to the mast.

 

Oh well. I'm not ungratefull to Vodafone. They've sold me 'Always On' where no b*stard else could or would ~ This being a bottomed out 'low usage' area. As in, I'm probably one of less that a dozen people with a PC for miles. No one else here is likely to use one like I do anyway. So I guess I'm just stuck with what I have. No solutions? Though that 108 MB 'Card' keeps popping back into my head ..... Ginga?

[gardener 0]

Hi Ditch - Ok looking over what you have posted first you need to give your machine a bit of a clean. get your self a can of 'Air' - no I'm not jking - this is a pressurized can of air used by computer technicians - there similar to a paint spray can. places like Maplins ell them.

 

On the side of your notebook/laptop you will the vents - just give them a good blast from your air spray. that will clear the dust and muck from your processor. 'DON'T!!! what ever you do go opening it up - If it needs a more thorough clean take it to a shop. I assure you this is not a job for the novice!! (No offence but I have seen notebooks/laptops destroyed due to people opening them and putting them back together wrong - all it takes is a screw put back in the wrong place!!!)...

 

As you have your data backed up - then your next step instead of trying to find issues with your O.S. is to simply re-install everything. So Back up all settings/data and disconnect your external drive.

 

insert your xp cd and allow to auto run/if it won't auto run

 

open my computer/ right click your cd-drive and explore

open the i386 folder and look for 'WINNT32.exe /double click and it should open the install screen

Sometimes you need to copy the i386 folder to your hardrive

 

Select new install

it will show you (eventually) a screen with three options and your hard drive C:\

Select to install and use that partition formatting the partition as well.

After windows is re-installed (I hope you have a key?)

You will need to re-install your mother board drivers so it's best to make sure you have them first! Otherwise your wifi, graphics, LAN, Audio won't work.

 

After that your going to need to turn of Auto Updates, error reporting and the remote assistance options (right click My Computer/select properties and look in there).

 

next security - Anti virus etc

get Zone Alarm Free

AVG Anti Virus Free

AVG Anti Spyware Free

Spybot Search & Destroy Free

 

Don't use Norton/Symantec or McAfee (Your a computer idiot if you do - I can prove it if anyone wants to disagree??)

 

To finish I do not advocate the use of dodgy copies of XP - If you must have it Buy it - and it should not cost more than 140euro (thats what I sell it at - XP Professional)..

 

even better get a copy of Ubunto Linux - it's free and far superior to any windows product. though you do have to 'Learn' hot to use a computer properly if you do use it....

 

 

......after that opener

Funny how only blokes know enough to form an opinion around these things, eh?

it would be tempting to pretend the above is from me to disprove it....but honesty wins out.......pm me if you've queries and I'll pass them over to him!

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

OMFG!

 

I honestly don't believe I've Ever heard from Anyone who obviously knows So Much about computers! That is one Scary level of knowledge!

 

Ok. Deano's coming down my track as I write this! I'll get back.

[Brummy 9]

My advice is very simple. Buy an Apple Mac !!!

 

I converted to using a Mac 3 years ago and I've not had one issue hardware or software !!!! Amazing bits of kit they are. They JUST WORK !!!

 

http://store.apple.com/Apple/WebObjects/uk...mp;esvid=100613

 

 

At the bottom of the page on the right is the link to the refurb store............. cheapy cheap !!!!

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Ok folks. Well, I'm days behind here and, frankly, shattered. But I've just spent a good hour looking at Mac's. Quite intriguing as I've never so much as looked at them before. Interesting. Sadly, no way can I afford one. Four hundred quid for the most basic ~ which I'd have gone for as I have a full complimentary set up here already ~ and I haven't got any four hundreds of pounds. End of. But thanks for the shout, Brummie. I envy ye.

 

A can of air? I'll get onto that presently and get one. I know for a fact that my home enviroment is 'filthy'. That's to say there's mega smoke, coal dust, Dog hairs and particles of god knows what here and this Lap Top's been sucking all that in for a few years now. It must be absolutely clogged up solid in there. A wonder the fan can even turn anymore. I'll get the air and give it a good blow through. Dean O' has a small compressor that I could take the LT to. But I'm afraid that might prove a little too powerful and blow something adrift in there.

 

Complete reinstall? I tried that with my old Dell cd. It wouldn't even begin to accept it and just - liturally - shut down evey time I loaded it in. Other than that, trying to reinstall my dodgy XP Pro and then refusing mickeys updates, so I don't get rummbled again, could be an option. But it's been so long since I did a reinstall that I'm frankly scared to death. There's no one for me to turn to around here if I hit trouble and go off line. I had a wizz friend in england, but then I had free phone calls too.

 

Buying a proper and certified XP disc sounds like my best option. The devil I know. I'd Love to get shot of mickey altogether and use Linux. My england contact was leading me towards it. In fact I still have the stuff for 'Fedora' stored away in my folders on here. Only he reckoned I'd (then) need some fancy sort of modem. Now that I'm on Vodafone 3G? God alone knows.

 

Thanks for all the input, peeps

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Oh My Good F*cking God!!!!! :icon_eek: :icon_eek:

 

Dean O' was up here on saturday. He brought his brazing kit ~ oxiocetaline tanks ~ to do a swift bit of on the spot brazing for me (The guy's a f*ckin saint! ) and I realised how he was able to blow 'air' like hell from one of those tanks ..... I fetched out my Lap Top!

 

Picture this, peeps; We're stood there in my kitchen. Just inside the wide open door. Dean's got the 'Torch'. I've got the Lap Top. The torch, of course, is capable of jetting out about a 1/4" jet of air, I guess? As powerful a jet as Dean O' chooses..

 

I indicate the front holes ~ in retrospect, my speaker holes, I guess? Dean O' points the torch and " Pwarsssssssht!!! " Dust shoots out of the sides of my LT. I'm well satisfied. That showed the dusty bugger!

 

" How about this thing round the side here, mate? That looks like holes. Give that a blast. " Dean O' does. That noise again. Dust. Strangely dark brickish coloured looking dust, puffs out of my beleagured LT. I feel better than James Brown!

 

Turning the thing over in my hands. We both search it for holes. I'm just pointing out what I believe to be the holes where the fan must live, when Dean O' spots it - and the air intake, underneath - and ..... well, I didn't really register it. But I guess he sort of hit one, then the other in rapid succession?

 

People. Let me tell ye: All I remember is vaguelly seeing Dean and my Lap Top, my arms and half my f*cking kitchen vanish in The Biggest f*cking orange cloud since they dropped one on Bikini Attoll!!! There's Dean going, PWAAAAAAAAAAAARRSSHHHHTTT!!!!!!. This all enveloping cloud of orangy shit. Everything getting confusing. Me choking and trying to scream, " For F*ck Sake, Man! That'll F*cking Do It!!! ". As Dean O' almost vanished from sight amidst the Leitrim Sirrocco! I have never seen ~ nor tasted! ~ anything quite like it in my life! Three years of god alone knows what, unleashed!

 

Tell ye what; I dashed back in here and plugged her back together again and switched on. " Whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ". The gentle sound of a nicely balanced little fan spinning freely on its pivots! Then, it stopped! Job done. Processor cooled. I sat listening to Pink Floyd and tinnatus!

 

As I type this, she's purring away. I've been on for fourteen hours now. She's purring! Gone are the nerve wrenching sounds of whine and strain. Happy Lap Top. Happy Ditch Shitter! That blow out's probably added a year or two to this babys life expectancy!

 

A can of air is right there, on my shopping list. I'll blow her vents out regularly! My deep gratitude to " Gardener's " other half for the guidance. And, as ever, Dean O's a complete f*cking diamond

 

I Really fancy my very own, 100% cosher, bought and paid for copy of XP. And blocking off mickeys automatic " Updates " and so forth sounds like an excellent idea too. B*stards have never brought me anything but grief anyway. Just sort some shit here and I'll be out to sort that too

 

Thanks again, all

[gardener 0]

People. Let me tell ye: All I remember is vaguelly seeing Dean and my Lap Top, my arms and half my f*cking kitchen vanish in The Biggest f*cking orange cloud since they dropped one on Bikini Attoll!!! There's Dean going, PWAAAAAAAAAAAARRSSHHHHTTT!!!!!!. This all enveloping cloud of orangy shit. Everything getting confusing. Me choking and trying to scream, " For F*ck Sake, Man! That'll F*cking Do It!!! ". As Dean O' almost vanished from sight amidst the Leitrim Sirrocco! icon_eek.gif I have never seen ~ nor tasted! ~ anything quite like it in my life! Three years of god alone knows what, unleashed!

 

Bloody 'eck!!!!! Better get some air in mine too......

[bill88 6]

Ahh the old blow job puts a smile on my face as well.

[martin 332]

Feck me Ditch,just think all that orange shit is in your lungs mate,better get your mate to blow yourself out.

[wiccamiss 0]

Don't use Norton/Symantec or McAfee (Your a computer idiot if you do - I can prove it if anyone wants to disagree??)

 

I just been told to download norton. Tell me why i shouldnt?????