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Time to clean out the phone


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Im writing this from hospital .Dont worry i will be fine , but i have to warn you the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name .

 

I couldn't find the thing that peels the carrots and potatoes, so i asked the kids if they had seen it . Apparently she left me yesterday .

 

 

Snow is like a willy ,its measured in inches ,soft to the touch,cums when you least expect it , and never gets as deep as you would really like it . Driving in snow is like having sex,if you dont slow down and pay attention you you could slide into the arsehole in front of you ha ha be careful this winter .

 

Got a phone call at work the other day ,it was Eric my neighbour .He says i dont know how to tell you this ,its your wife she's hung herself on your washing line . Through tears i said do me a favour mate if it rains bring her in

 

Britney spears jioned the x factor usa and was really nervous . No wonder because the last time she was in a room with that many judges she was getting her children taken off her

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