just for a giggle

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Paddy with two burnt ears went to the Doctors who asked, what happened? The phone rang and I accidentally picked up the iron 'What happened to the other ear'? The b*****ds called back

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Paddy goes to buy a car with £100. He asks the salesman - have you got any cars for a hundred quid. Yeah he replies, we have one but its got no doors. Paddy says - well how the f**k am I going to get in it!

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Paddy took two stuffed dogs he had onto the Antiques Roadshow. "Ooh," said the presenter, "this is a very rare breed, do you have any idea what they'd fetch if they were in good condition?"

"Sticks" said Paddy.

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A Pakistani, an Romanian, and an Brit are in the same bar. When the Romanian finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out a pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Romania , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'

The Pakistani , obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer (because he's a Muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Pakistani World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't

need to drink with the same one twice either.' The Brit, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his Pistol, and shoots the Pakistani and the Romanian. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, he says, ...

'In Britain, we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice