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Chav jokes


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What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?

Fathers Day!

 

How do you start an argument with a chav?

Speak!

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?

The burglar.

 

What do you call a Chav in a box?

Innit.

 

What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted.

 

What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?

Safe.

 

What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Innuinnit.

 

Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight

of stairs.

 

What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?

The bride.

What do you say to a chav at work?

Can i have a big mac please?

How do you identify the bride at a chav wedding?

She is the most pregnant one.

What do chavs use as protection during sex?

A bus shelter!

What do you call a large group of chavs decending on somewhere (a pub for instance)?

A Chavalanche

 

If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to run him over?

It might be your bike.

 

What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

 

What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?

"What you lookin' at?"

 

How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it.

 

Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?

The police.

 

Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out?

Up the gary!

What do you call a Chav in a boiler suit?

Prisoner

What do you call a chav with half a brain?

Gifted.

When do chavs cross the road?

When its safe.

What do you say to a Chav?

Big Mac with fries please

What happens to a thought in a chavs head?

It dies of loneliness !!

What do you call a chav in a suit?

The accused

Why do Chavs always travel around in pairs?

One can read and one can write!

What do you do if you run over a chav?

Reverse just to make sure

A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,

"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

Whats a chavs favourite ice-cream?

Mint

How do chavs knock on a door?

They Bang it

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