A FEW JOKES

[tote 870]

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition.

"I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said.

The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed.

 

"Tommy," she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches."

 

"Why?" he asked.

 

"'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers down here," she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.

 

"I don't believe you," he said. "You'll have to show me."

 

Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.

 

"You're right," he said. "I've been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I'm getting feathers too."

 

"Well, I'd better have a look," she said.

 

After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh, I think it's too late for you. You've got the neck and giblets too."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DID YOU HEAR VANESSA FELTZ WAS HELD AT CUSTOMS AT HEATHROW- FOR SMUGGLING DRUGS?

 

ALLEGEDLY, SHE HAD 40 LBS OF CRACK IN HER KNICKERS.