mattydski 560 Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 This one came over the bridge recently as well, wasn't held up in the road works, apparently the cones have been knicked. How can you tell when a Fifer has been in your garden????? Because your bin's empty........ and your dog is pregnant!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 Thats better............ A young Fife lad pulls a Dundee lassie in Fat Sams... He walks her up the road and she says "Aaaye, dae ye want to hae sex?"....... He says "Aye!".........have you got protection? She says "Aaaye......get in this f*****g bus shelter!!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 What.s the definition of A Fife Virgin???? A girl who can run faster than her father and all of her brothers.... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 The great thing about Dundee now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 Whats eight miles long and has an IQ of 40????? The Giro queue at Methil post office..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 QUESTION: What do you get if you see a Dundee man buried up to his neck in sand? ANSWER: More sand ...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 A Fife couple were having difficulty surviving financially (nothing strange there then) so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular carpark near Cupar and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentlemen pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client £50. She went back and informed the client at which he cried "That was too much!" He then asked "How much for a handjob?" She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said "Ask for £20". The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung. She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again at which her husband asked "Now what?" The wife replied "Can I borrow £30?" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 A Fife couple were having difficulty surviving financially (nothing strange there then) so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular carpark near Cupar and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentlemen pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client £50. She went back and informed the client at which he cried "That was too much!" He then asked "How much for a handjob?" She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said "Ask for £20". The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung. She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again at which her husband asked "Now what?" The wife replied "Can I borrow £30?" Are you just googling these and adding Fife mate.................... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 nope............But I'm running out fast!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 nope............But I'm running out fast!! errrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm...neither am i...... Three football fans are in a church, praying for their teams. The first one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Scotland win the World cup?" God Replies, "In one hundred years" "But I'll be dead by then", says the man. The second one asks, "Oh Lord, when will a Scottish club actually doing something in Europe?" The Good Lord answers, "In five hundred years" "But I'll be dead by then", says the man. The third one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Dundee win the Scottish Premier League?" God Answers, Aw ffs I'll be dead by then!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 Why Im taking the piss outta Fife I dont know, .... both my grandparents and father were born in Kirkcaldy I spose because its easy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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