letters to the council

[SEAN3513 7]

These statements are allegedly genuine extracts from letters sent to a

Local Council by tenants somewhere in the West Midlands, UK:

 

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he

put his feet in the hole in his back passage.

 

The lavatory is blocked, this is caused by the boys next door throwing

their balls on the roof.

 

This is to let you know that their is a smell coming from the man next

door.

 

The toilet seat is cracked, where do I stand.

 

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the

wall.

 

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

 

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

 

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my

wife is about to become an expectant mother.

 

I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt

my knob off.

 

I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers.

 

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is

cleared.

 

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden which is

unsightly and dangerous.

 

Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my

wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

 

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a

third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

 

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is funny colour and

not fit to drink.

 

Would you please send a man to look at my spout, I am an old age

pensioner and I need it straight away.

 

I woke this morning and I found my water boiling.

 

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we cannot

get BBC2.

 

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe

stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

 

I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at

5.30 his cock wakes me up and it is getting too much.

 

When I applied for a rebate you said that you would have to take

something off. Now that you have taken it off, I have been told that

you should have put some on. So will you please take off what you took

off and put on what you should have put on when you took it off.

 

When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new

drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish

the job and keep my wife happy.

[The one 8,592]

:clapper:

[SEAN3513 7]

the ninth one :laugh:

[buster 8789 64]

brillant