bert the fert 28 Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Have a read of some of the old guys thoughts. Funny as ! http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CarraghsGem 92 Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 shitmydadsays ."See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of shit? That's why I look interested." "Invite them. A wedding is a loaded gun. Don't be the asshole staring down the barrel asking which button makes the boom noise." "Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit." "Engagement rings are pointless. Indians gave cows...Oh sorry, congrats on proposing. We good now? Can I finish my indian story?" "Look, we're basically on earth to shit and f**k. So unless your job's to help people shit or f**k, it's not that important, so relax." "No. Humans will die out. We're weak. Dinosaurs survived on rotten flesh. You got diarrhea last week from a Wendy's." "I’m not sure you can call that roughing it, son… Well, for one, there was a f*****g minivan parked forty feet from your sleeping bags.†"Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants." "I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the f**k?" "I didn't say you were ugly. I said your girlfriend is better looking than you, and standing next to her, you look ugly." "War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker." "I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the f**k you think, son? I exercised." "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed" "I don't get it; I sweat, I smell fine. You sweat, you smell like mule shit...Relax, she's on the treadmill next to you, she knows." "Don't mess with him...Trust me, you don't f**k with a man that sleeps next to a woman he never screws. They're unpredictable." “Calm down. You don’t just grab a ruler and tell everyone to whip their dicks out. You stuff your crotch and keep your pants on.†"Sprain, huh? Did you go to medical school?... Well I did, so spare me your dog-shit diagnosis and lemme look at your ankle." "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." "Might not do a damn bit of good, but tell people to donate to Haiti on your twitter thing." TEXT "Haiti" to 90999 to donate 10$ "No presents goddamit. I'm turning 74. I don't need you to commemorate that with a f*****g Barnes and Noble gift card." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bert the fert 28 Posted August 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." I love that one ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CarraghsGem 92 Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 "No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." I love that one ! wish my auld dad came out with shit that funny... lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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