woodga 170 Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 This will make you feel better about your skills: This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!! ================================= Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. sorry.... =============== Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? =============== Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. =============== Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... =============== Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. =============== Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. =============== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back Customer:! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work.. =============== Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? == ============= Customer: can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. =============== Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. =============== Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. =============== Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? =============== A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." =============== And last but not least... Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager" Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MOLLY Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 MOLL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andy mecca 5 Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 good laugh that Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest GB HUNTER Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Funny stuff.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest oldskool Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 (edited) Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?........ that one tickled me the most Edited September 15, 2006 by oldskool Quote Link to post Share on other sites
barraboy 28 Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 this is my all time favourite: * Tech Support: "Welch Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" * Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." * Tech Support: "What sort of trouble?" * Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." * Tech Support: "Went away?" * Customer: "They disappeared." * Tech Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" * Customer: "Nothing." * Tech Support: "Nothing?" * Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." * Tech Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" * Customer: "How do I tell?" * Tech Support: "Can you see the C:\> prompt on the screen?" * Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?" * Tech Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" * Customer: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type." * Tech Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" * Customer: "What's a monitor?" * Tech Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" * Customer: "I don't know." * Tech Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" (Rustling and jostling heard in the background.) * Customer: [muffled] "Yes, I think so." * Tech Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." * Customer: "Yes, it is." * Tech Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" * Customer: "No." * Tech Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." (Rustle, rustle.) * Customer: [muffled] "Ok, here it is." * Tech Support: "Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." * Customer: [still muffled] "I can't reach." * Tech Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" * Customer: "No." * Tech Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" * Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark in here." * Tech Support: "Dark?" * Customer: "Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." * Tech Support: "Well, turn on the office light then." * Customer: "I can't." * Tech Support: "No? Why not?" * Customer: "Because there's a power outage." * Tech Support: "A p-!" [AARGH!] :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
swamper 11 Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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