Clancy 1 Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 Two nuns from abroad have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.†“Odd,†her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.†Nodding emphatically, one of the nuns points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. “Two dogs, please,†she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.†One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, “What part did you get?†-- A wise old Indian Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a Ceremonial Pipe and eying two U.S. Government officials sent to interview him. “Chief Two Eagles,†stated one official, “You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.†The Chief nodded in agreement. The Official continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?†The Chief stared at the Government Officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, “When white man found this land, Indians were running it.†“No taxes.†“No debt.†“Plenty buffalo.†“Plenty beaver.†“Women did all the work.†“Medicine man free.†“Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing.†Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, “Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.†Why men have better friends Friendship between women: A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship between men: A man didn’t come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends, 8 of which confirmed that he had slept over, and 2 said that he was still there. -- Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds. The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Rick has been missing since Friday Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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