Guest terrierbullpit Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section >and mac says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and asks if he >can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat >cage >updere," says mac. The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Paddy and >Gerry pay for the birds leave the shop and get into mac's truck to drive >to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass, mac looks down at the >1000' foot drop and says "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds >out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy >watches as mac falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone >dead > Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and >says >"Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!" > >THERE'S MORE................................ > >Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop >too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one >hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says. He >takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff >Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. >Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and >breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says "And I'm >never >trying dat parrotshooting either!" > >IT'S NOT OVER YET............................... > >Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean Og >appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of >which he pulls a chicken. Sean Og then hurls himself off the cliff and >disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once >more Paddy shakes his head. "Fook dat, lads. First dere was mac with his >budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting..and now Sean Og and his fook n >hengliding!" > Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest terrierbullpit Posted September 30, 2005 Report Share Posted September 30, 2005 another one for you pads ................... An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. >The view was fantastic, the beer >excellent, and the food exceptional But" said the Scotsman. "I still prefer >the pubs back home. Why >in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there >goes out of his way for the locals >so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you." >Well." said the Englishman "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there >will >buy you your 3rd drink after you >buy the first 2." >"Ahhh that's nothin'" said the Irishman "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's >Bar. Now the moment you set foot >in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you >like. >Then when you've >had enough drink they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All >on >the house." >The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's >claims. >He swears every word is true. >"Well" said the Englishman "Did this actually happen to you?" >"Not myself personally no" said the Irishman, "But it did happen to my >sister." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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