Bubba

[Guest Lurcherbitch]

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty

badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body,

so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer.

The three men had always done everything together.

 

 

 

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the

sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better

roll him over." The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope,

ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather strange.

 

Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took

a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll

him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No,

it ain't Bubba." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

 

 

 

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes.

Every time we went to town, folks would say,

"Here comes Bubba with them two assholes."

[Guest Lurcherbitch]

Another really bad joke :11: .

 

The Euro English

 

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby

English will be the official language of the European Union rather

than German, which was the other possibility.

 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that

English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-

year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

 

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will

make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up

konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the

troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like

fotograf 20% shorter.

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted

to

reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have

always

ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag

is

disgrasful and it should go away.

 

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"

with

"z" and "w" with "v".

 

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining

"ou"

and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil

be no

mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu

understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und

efter

ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst

plas.

[Guest diesel]

:11: