Joke

[Guest Dunna]

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??

 

The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of

 

perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next,

 

fatty."

 

********************************

 

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is

 

lying in bed reading.

 

Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

 

Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

 

Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

 

********************************

 

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

 

He asks, "What are you doing?"

 

She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney .

 

I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for

 

free."

 

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and

 

sees her husband packing his suitcase.

 

When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want

 

to see how you live on $800 a year".

 

*********************************

 

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2

 

litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a

 

head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g

 

pack of bacon

 

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a

 

drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of

 

the cashier.

 

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly

 

stated,"You must be single."

 

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued

 

by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at

 

her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her

 

selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.

 

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what,

 

you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

 

The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."

[bondy 0]

:11: :11:

[polecat 1]

:11:

[ferreterno1 0]

wife says to husband if you helped around the house more we could get rid of the maid he says if you took it up the ar*e we could get rid of the dog!