Guest bullterrier Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 A man enters a confessional, and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession, and I've sinned with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's." Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have sinned with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the Priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?" "A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. "Very well," says the Priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's." The next morning in church, the Priest is preparing to deliver his sermon, when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle, and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The Priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style. The Priest turns to the altar boy and asks in a whisper, "Is that Fannie Green?" The altar boy replies .................. "No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bullterrier Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home. While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.' The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wolly 4 Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Love The Top One Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest STORM CHASER Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 :11: :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest staffman1 Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 nice one fella Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scrubworm 0 Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 both good ,but the second really did it for me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wanna be farmer 0 Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Hehe, they're good. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lost scouse 46 Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 second one pmsl Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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