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Worst shoot in Britain


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Today I had the misfortune of an invite as a guest at a shoot in Oxford .Remember the word guest . The “keeper “gave a brief safety talk ,all good so far ,it then went a bit Pete Tong . Afte

I've never been on a shoot like that but I've heard of a few.  On one shoot I  heard that a seagull, morehen, squirrel,  jay and other randoms were added to the bag.  Not many birds per drive though. 

I try to maximise my time in the field mate and surround myself with lads that do the same .A walk in the countryside yes but but like minded people no mate .They all seemed to think it was great bar

I've never been on a shoot like that but I've heard of a few.  On one shoot I  heard that a seagull, morehen, squirrel,  jay and other randoms were added to the bag.  Not many birds per drive though.  Caused by small amount of birds put down in the first place,  no real vermin control,  no effective dogging back in on a daily basis.  And insufficient feeding at the right places to hold the birds.  Another thing that gets my goat is the sweepstakes.   It doesn't matter if it's a pound or a tenner, it's  generally some sort of fixed con.  I went on a shoot and some bloke produced a sweet jar with a load of little ball sweets in it.  Fiver for the sweepstake he says.  I told him to F off and stop wasting my time.  I told him and the shoot captain that I had come there to shoot and not some stupid game.  If I wanted to gamble I'd have used the bookies.  Seeing as I had made an issue of this several others did the same and matey dissapeared with his pot of sweets.  The shoot needed to decide as to whether they were a shoot or fun day.  Can you imagine king Charles dubbing up a fiver for stuff like this.

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That was a windup, forget the big shoots where that simply wouldn't happen, I have a mate who runs his own small FRIENDLY shoot over Marlborough way, even he gets 50 birds on a bad day.   

He is full with a waiting list!!!!

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I’ve always said , a bad days shooting is better than a good day at work. But that does seem like a piss take . I’ve been out on  days that are similar, but I was never led to believe that they were going to be busy and never asked to pay . 
        Best to be philosophical about it , put it down to experience and don’t get caught out by that guy again. On the plus side you had a walk in the countryside with other like minded people and had the chance of a shot , albeit an expensive one . 

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Yep.  That about the right way to look at it. I think of the amount of days that I've sat out in a cold field supposedly pigeon shooting.  But the pigeons didn't  cooperate and I didn't get  any shooting.  The only difference being that it didn't  cost anything.  Imagine if someone charged for you to sit out in a cold field.

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Can be like that sometime. I went on a Pheasant shoot that was small. Was invited, didn't have to pay a penny. Plenty of birds. The only problem there was they had 1 member who was an idiot. Told this before but he thought it was sensible to climb on top of a fallen tree trunk the top of which was a good 7 foot off the ground, and covered in moss with the gun cocked and loaded. He thought it would get him closer to the high birds!!!! It's not as if he didn't have 8 0 yards of height to play with using no6 shot. The inevitable happened, he slipped and fell and manged to discharge his gun into the wood beside me, not 10 feet away. What an idiot. I never went back either. The same day someone also got a pellet in the lip after a ricochet off a stone wall becasue someone decided to take a low shot (I can guess who, but we never found out who it actually was). The same day, another low shot, as if the pellet incident wasn't enough, led to a dead pheasant going through the window of the farm house. The guy was fookin idiot and probably by now is either dead or has shot someone (hopefully accidentally). How he ever got or retained a licence I'll never know. I vowed never to return though. My safety's worth more than a pheasant or two. Shoot was good, at least 1 member was a total idiot.

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On 26/01/2023 at 13:01, shovel leaner said:

I’ve always said , a bad days shooting is better than a good day at work. But that does seem like a piss take . I’ve been out on  days that are similar, but I was never led to believe that they were going to be busy and never asked to pay . 
        Best to be philosophical about it , put it down to experience and don’t get caught out by that guy again. On the plus side you had a walk in the countryside with other like minded people and had the chance of a shot , albeit an expensive one . 

I try to maximise my time in the field mate and surround myself with lads that do the same .A walk in the countryside yes but but like minded people no mate .They all seemed to think it was great bar me ?

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On 21/01/2023 at 20:16, foxdropper said:

Today I had the misfortune of an invite as a guest at a shoot in Oxford .Remember the word guest .

The “keeper “gave a brief safety talk ,all good so far ,it then went a bit Pete Tong .

After the talk he asked for the guests ,4 of us to see him by his truck .Off we toddle to be told he needs some money off us !!!!!!!
£80 .Well I  was a bit taken a back tbh but went along with it and just thought he seemed ok must be a good day ahead of us .

Wrong ,how so f***ing wrong .School boy error ,should of binned it and gone elsewhere .

First drive I’m on peg 6 ,in the middle and keeper says lucky me ☺️ 

With anticipation I load two black gold and wait ,and wait ,and yep wait some more until the beaters are on us and whistle blows .Ok me thinks ,a blank drive ,no shots fired .Happens I guess .The next drive I’m up 3  at 9 .Splendid ,I’m back gunning in a wood behind old Father Time himself .

Anticipation rises as small birds then a brace of jays ,a woodcock (off limits ) and a fox all come through the line but the smile is soon wiped when again the beaters appear and the same two carts are out and in the pocket .

Elevens’s we’re just a piss up tbh and I kept myself to myself just watching as a few got louder .

Drive three was a set of game covers back to back on a bank along side a golf course .

I was number 1 ,the first to get positioned and told to keep my eyes open as things happen fast here .I must of fell asleep or blinked because I saw nothing again nor did the other 9 ,only another fox and several magpies overhead at 150 m high .

The same two carts were out and in the pocket .

With heavy hearts we got on the trailer and we’re off to the next “drive “.where the keeper asked who of us hadn’t had any shooting ,the fecking neck on the c**t .10 hands went up .

Im 4 this time and in a wood .

Wasnt long before the shout went up ,well no rewind  ,wasn’t long before the screaming beaters shouted bird forward but wait there a shot and it drops 50 m from the beating line .Keeper shot it going forward .

Stay with me as I’m now convinced I’m on a proper wind up by my mate ???and that everyone  else is in on it .Payback for taking the piss  periodically ?

We are told there two more drives being fitted in as he’s sure they are up the other end .Spirits lifted ,we romp to our pegs with renewed enthusiasm ,load up the same two carts that I’m sure will see daylight this time as face the oncoming beaters .Again the screaming starts and a shot rings out ,yep the keepers shot a cock bird going forward ..More screaming as a fox dances along the gun line and several woodcock break cover .No more pheasants ?.

Im totally over it now and went to  the last peg with the fog rolling in fast .I loaded those carts with love and decided this was it .The stars would align and I’d be showering the keeper with twenties in no time .The hip flask came out and a stiff drink followed by shoulders back ,gun butt tucked in waist coat pocket as is y favourite stance and I will just one long tail to show its face .

Another fox broke cover and went back in ,showed again my end ,stopped in front of me and I’m sure the c**t sniggered before disappearing into the wood to my right .More screaming ,this is it ,a bird flying down the line getting missed by all before it ,my moment to shine as I’d shot like a god on ducks the week previous ,I raised the gun and missed it both barrels .
The keeper appeared looking smug and announced he was glad we all had some shooting ,cheeky fecking b*****d .

Back at the yard the mood seemed pretty jolly ,port induced I believe and the keeper proudly produced the brace of birds and laid them on the concrete to a round of applause ???

Im now totally convinced I’m been set up and they will all break character and take the piss but the keeper proceeds to shake hands with the guns and to my horror I see the odd twenty passed across in clenched fist .The tell tail white knuckles and nervous laugh proceeded the gift .

The gun to my right gave him a fiver to which the keeper sneered something inaudible and then it was my turn .

I shook his hand and let go ,he puts his hand out again and I say “Really  “to which he says it’s not his fault there were no birds today, they were there yesterday .So  I politely ask who’s fault it was .”You guns “he replied ,”can’t shoot for toffee” .He then tries again with the extended hand and I said “Tips are voluntary based on performance mate but as you havnt performed there’s no tip “.

Well the crowd goes silent ,the drinkers stop drinking and the dogs all appeared to cower behind  their owners .He wasn’t happy at all and say we the guns were the worst he’d had all season ?.

I could of got a bit more arsey ,I could of told the c**t he was a messer but I though better of it as it dawned on me this wasn’t a wind up ?.I left the venue a tad disappointed and phoned up my mate who couldn’t apologies  enough .

The keeper apparently is a piss head ,the feeders all dry and foxes run the joint .Just wish I’d been enlightened before hand .

That’s tickled me this morning while sat on the pot

i would of laughed in his face if he took me to one side and asked for money before the start, that’s incredibly disrespectful when you were there as a guest, and as for the keeper carrying a gun in the line and shooting at birds going forward, if I hadn’t already left I would of left when I seen that and made everyone there know why I was leaving, make sure you tell everyone you know just what a shower of shite this crank is ??

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On 26/01/2023 at 20:44, Meece said:

Yep.  That about the right way to look at it. I think of the amount of days that I've sat out in a cold field supposedly pigeon shooting.  But the pigeons didn't  cooperate and I didn't get  any shooting.  The only difference being that it didn't  cost anything.  Imagine if someone charged for you to sit out in a cold field.

You should ask Walshie about that Lol

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9 hours ago, Stavross said:

That’s tickled me this morning while sat on the pot

i would of laughed in his face if he took me to one side and asked for money before the start, that’s incredibly disrespectful when you were there as a guest, and as for the keeper carrying a gun in the line and shooting at birds going forward, if I hadn’t already left I would of left when I seen that and made everyone there know why I was leaving, make sure you tell everyone you know just what a shower of shite this crank is ??

For a minute there Stav I thought you were going to finish on “tell you what mate ,as it was so shite you can come up and have a day here “??

I was taken to the venue after first stopping off at my supposed mates place Stav otherwise I would of fecked off defo .

I caught the keeper looking my way couple of times in the day and each time I looked he looked away .c**t knew what he was doing .It’s a military shoot so I expect he’s used to doing what the hell he likes and getting away with it cos nobody there thought it was just shite .

 

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4 hours ago, foxdropper said:

For a minute there Stav I thought you were going to finish on “tell you what mate ,as it was so shite you can come up and have a day here “??

I wouldn’t want to add to your disappointment ?

It’s sad how the members seem happy with what they are getting, he certainly seems to be in it for what he can get from it, I don’t expect anything from the guests but a handshake at the end of the day is always appreciated, but to ask for money at the start is just taking the piss, I suppose it’s a lesson learned ?

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