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Very very recently I found out a friend of mine committed suicide. 31yr old. Top lad. Life of the party. Recently married. So much life left. Yet he felt he had no other option that to hang himself in

I'm afraid I have to agree with you 100% on that. My son (only child) killed himself recently. He was found hanging in woodland in a small village in East Sussex during that heatwave in July, was

If any of you lads ever needs somebody to offload to I’m here for you. I won’t be able to help with your problems but it will give me plenty of things to take the piss out of you with 👍 …….

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Just now, ArchieHood said:

I know you haven't been educated. "Selfish act"!!!!!......And they wonder why men won't talk about it.Maybe its you who needs to flick the moral switch.?

Yep I'm out of this one. I mentioned it because I found it useful, along with learning that the feelings are generally cyclic, we're all still here talking about it. Out.

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Sad to hear that pal, thing is you can’t be with a person in their head 24 7 pal . 
 

guilt can eat you alive . My immediate subordinate at work was killed by misadventure a while back , did something daft when drunk and came unstuck. 
I didn’t sleep for a while after with guilt knowing that not one person said “nah don’t do that “ you can’t be responsible for people’s actions all the time pal. 

the fact he was alone in a digs may have lead to inward looking at themselves and the phone that your unaware of. That’s a bad place to be , society, money , relationships all play a part in how people gauge themselves against others . 
 It’s a sad state of affairs that your pal , a lad relatively young in life , has taken this measure . 
 

be grateful for what you have mate , I don’t buy the cowards way either , it’s a braver man then me who can go through with it imho , and it’s now your job to keep his memory alive to those who were his friends and family . Awful to read . Head up pal 
 

 

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I think it's a mental problem.

With those sort of problems, you're not thinking straight.

What others think may be selfish, may not be to the person with the problem.

Its easy to say, but at the first signs of going down that route, you MUST seek professional help, see your GP, phone the samaritans, talk to your family and friends.

Dont ask a load of strangers on line, as can be seen here, their views will differ greatly.

Cheers.

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10 minutes ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

Sad to hear that pal, thing is you can’t be with a person in their head 24 7 pal . 
 

guilt can eat you alive . My immediate subordinate at work was killed by misadventure a while back , did something daft when drunk and came unstuck. 
I didn’t sleep for a while after with guilt knowing that not one person said “nah don’t do that “ you can’t be responsible for people’s actions all the time pal. 

the fact he was alone in a digs may have lead to inward looking at themselves and the phone that your unaware of. That’s a bad place to be , society, money , relationships all play a part in how people gauge themselves against others . 
 It’s a sad state of affairs that your pal , a lad relatively young in life , has taken this measure . 
 

be grateful for what you have mate , I don’t buy the cowards way either , it’s a braver man then me who can go through with it imho , and it’s now your job to keep his memory alive to those who were his friends and family . Awful to read . Head up pal 
 

 

Guilt certainly can...

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11 minutes ago, chartpolski said:

I think it's a mental problem.

With those sort of problems, you're not thinking straight.

What others think may be selfish, may not be to the person with the problem.

Its easy to say, but at the first signs of going down that route, you MUST seek professional help, see your GP, phone the samaritans, talk to your family and friends.

Dont ask a load of strangers on line, as can be seen here, their views will differ greatly.

Cheers.

I would argue though that the fact he did and you replied is exactly the right way to do things 

the first role of a mental health first aided is to signpost the services available professionally to a person in need 

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A close friend of mine recently committed suicide.

Now this guy was what you would call an "adventurer", a ""mans man".

He was a moto x racer, monster trucker, professional scuba driver who worked off the gold boats in the Florida Keys, part of the team that discovered the gold of the Achocha.

He decided he wanted a simpler life and bought a small boat, sailed it to Panama and settled there and got by giving scuba lessons to tourists.

I got a call saying he had been found dead, hanging from the mast of his boat.

I immediately suspected foul play.....a man like this couldn't take his own life !

Then his ex wife called me; evidently he had been robbed and severely beaten up, with serious head injuries. 

He was left with nothing, his pride, probably exacerbated by the head injuries, wouldn't allow him to ask for help, so he did what his muddled mind thought was the right thing, and committed suicide.

So, there is no easy answer, who knows what goes on in someone's mind ?

Cheers.

 

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17 minutes ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

Sad to hear that pal, thing is you can’t be with a person in their head 24 7 pal . 
 

guilt can eat you alive . My immediate subordinate at work was killed by misadventure a while back , did something daft when drunk and came unstuck. 
I didn’t sleep for a while after with guilt knowing that not one person said “nah don’t do that “ you can’t be responsible for people’s actions all the time pal. 

the fact he was alone in a digs may have lead to inward looking at themselves and the phone that your unaware of. That’s a bad place to be , society, money , relationships all play a part in how people gauge themselves against others . 
 It’s a sad state of affairs that your pal , a lad relatively young in life , has taken this measure . 
 

be grateful for what you have mate , I don’t buy the cowards way either , it’s a braver man then me who can go through with it imho , and it’s now your job to keep his memory alive to those who were his friends and family . Awful to read . Head up pal 
 

 

keeping those memory’s alive for friends and even seeing the family children etc can be to much stiff maybe won’t make you suicidal but can f**k your head thinking about things for ages 👍

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Just now, tb25 said:

I honestly don't feel the people who work in mental health services know there arse from there elbow..not all but most

But that's just my personal thought..

 

 

Help Is the best thing mate , nice and simple . No stigma , no shame , we all get down about things , it’s having the tools to deal with it is the answer . 

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2 minutes ago, tb25 said:

I honestly don't feel the people who work in mental health services know there arse from there elbow..not all but most

But that's just my personal thought..

 

 

I suppose it can be a difficult job though mate when those with the problems don't know their arse from their elbow at times. 

You have to think of it like this, how many folk going through problems actually do let their guard down even when seeing professionals? 

The brain is a funny thing mate and I suppose folk won't be saved if they don't want to be saved. 

I lost two of my best mates in 2019, one of them my brother was in bits as one of the lads had tried getting in contact with him that night. My brother was thinking things may now be different but it's like this, if he'd had not done it that night chances are it would be just delaying the inevitable. 

 

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14 minutes ago, tb25 said:

I honestly don't feel the people who work in mental health services know there arse from there elbow..not all but most

But that's just my personal thought..

 

 

I'm afraid I have to agree with you 100% on that.

My son (only child) killed himself recently. He was found hanging in woodland in a small village in East Sussex during that heatwave in July, was hanging there for 4 days, and we were advised not to view his body. He was 41. He was failed by the NHS, how the hell can a psychiatrist evaluate someone over the phone, surely with mental health body language comes into it? It's a long drawn out, complicated story so I won't go into it here, all I can say is that it is devastating.

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20 minutes ago, Greb147 said:

I suppose it can be a difficult job though mate when those with the problems don't know their arse from their elbow at times. 

And that is very true greb mate lol

You have to think of it like this, how many folk going through problems actually do let their guard down even when seeing professionals? 

The brain is a funny thing mate and I suppose folk won't be saved if they don't want to be saved. 

I lost two of my best mates in 2019, one of them my brother was in bits as one of the lads had tried getting in contact with him that night. My brother was thinking things may now be different but it's like this, if he'd had not done it that night chances are it would be just delaying the inevitable. 

 

 

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