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Very very recently I found out a friend of mine committed suicide. 31yr old. Top lad. Life of the party. Recently married. So much life left. Yet he felt he had no other option that to hang himself in

I'm afraid I have to agree with you 100% on that. My son (only child) killed himself recently. He was found hanging in woodland in a small village in East Sussex during that heatwave in July, was

If any of you lads ever needs somebody to offload to I’m here for you. I won’t be able to help with your problems but it will give me plenty of things to take the piss out of you with 👍 …….

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I didn't think it would get this response lads and such a wide open discussion so it shows how prevalent the issue is. Also I don't think I've ever seen a topic on here reach 13 pages without getting frozen, other than the good jokes thread.

I was listening to one of the korda podcasts the other day and it was with a doctor/phsycologist that runs the 'thrive' program that DF has been on since his cancer issues. I didn't agree with some of the stuff he said but I am always open to other views and discussions. 

One of the main things he said that stuck with me were his belief as to why going to the doctors for depression doesn't work was because they did 2 things

1- told you it wasn't your fault.......therefore you are powerless to do anything about it.

2 - prescribed drugs to take the feeling away......therefore when you get used to the drugs or they remove them the feeling comes back.

His belief and program was around controlling your own mind and although something may very well not have been your fault it does not mean your emotional and mental response to it cannot be within your control. 

DF was totally preaching about what the programme did for him. Also apparantley helped a lot of ex forces guys with PTSD etc.

If anyone is interested have a look for the podcast. It is worth a listen.

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Suicide is the most common cause of death for men under 50 

 

The latest UK suicide figures show that on average just under 6,000 people take their own lives every year. Three-quarters of them are men.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50. You can quote the statistics about suicide, but it is hard to convey the devastation with just numbers. A suicide is like a rock thrown into the water with the ripples spreading outwards, covering family, friends, soaking work colleagues, acquaintances, the wider community.

Why so many men? Again, the research, including Samaritans’ Men and Suicide report, shows how complex the issue is. In the report, men talk about relationships breaking down, separation from children, job loss, addiction, lack of close friendships, loneliness and being unable to open up. We also know that deprivation is a major factor in male suicide, increasing the odds of taking your life by 10 times, compared with the suicide risk of more affluent men.

 

Cheers, D.

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Like I said, I've learnt that it's ok to be open. I've been amazed, taught and humbled by the support in whatever way needed I've had from friends with a different mindset, from all over the world. We English speaking have a very different way of being. Looking at my eldest now, she's as Brit as it comes yet she understands all this on a level that I had to learn the hard way, it came so easy for her with only a little bit of uphill.

For her, she is very close with her friends. They talk etc

For me it's been a constant battle and it's taken it's toll. 

A problem shared is a problem halved!

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1 minute ago, mushroom said:

Like I said, I've learnt that it's ok to be open. I've been amazed, taught and humbled by the support in whatever way needed I've had from friends with a different mindset, from all over the world. We English speaking have a very different way of being. Looking at my eldest now, she's as Brit as it comes yet she understands all this on a level that I had to learn the hard way, it came so easy for her with only a little bit of uphill.

For her, she is very close with her friends. They talk etc

For me it's been a constant battle and it's taken it's toll. 

A problem shared is a problem halved!

A personal question mate..by from what I read on here you have had a few relationships...is there a particular reason for that? 

Not a dig mush..generally intreged 

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13 minutes ago, tb25 said:

A personal question mate..by from what I read on here you have had a few relationships...is there a particular reason for that? 

Not a dig mush..generally intreged 

No problem, I'm very open about it. 

When I'm single, I have a laugh and I'm pretty good at it, without being a sleazy cnut.

The problem I've had over the last 10 years is (me) the women I get with (in a relationship way) are transient. I don't want to leave Barcelona unless I'm moving to the mountains. They want to just move to another country and keep moving. I like order and shit, so it didn't work out. I'm still best mates with most of my exes apart from the Austrian bitch 😂😂😂

Oh... and I'm a cnut 😂

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If any of you lads ever needs somebody to offload to I’m here for you. I won’t be able to help with your problems but it will give me plenty of things to take the piss out of you with 👍 …….

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2 minutes ago, socks said:

If any of you lads ever needs somebody to offload to I’m here for you. I won’t be able to help with your problems but it will give me plenty of things to take the piss out of you with 👍 …….

We won’t burden you in your condition mum x lol 😂 

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3 minutes ago, socks said:

If any of you lads ever needs somebody to offload to I’m here for you. I won’t be able to help with your problems but it will give me plenty of things to take the piss out of you with 👍 …….

You probably know better than most that crap can fuuck with a mans' mind mate. Sometimes the banter isn't the answer. My cousin is led cold because of who knows, he chose that as the better route. Life ain't fair but we can at the least be there for us who needs it.

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Somtimes I think the banter is easly seen..you can tell a dig from.banter..most the blokes on here will have the banter..if you read it wrong it can come across as a dig..most of em have good hearts. 

Carnt take things to personal 

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Just now, tb25 said:

Somtimes I think the banter is easly seen..you can tell a dig from.banter..most the blokes on here will have the banter..if you read it wrong it can come across as a dig..most of em have good hearts. 

Carnt take things to personal 

Nah mate, you misunderstood, I meant the banter amongst units.  Not on here. On here is a way to connect with like minded people and have a bit 😂 Out there, rhem boys are seeing and doing shit we ain't!

There's a lot of good blokes on here

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I think it's hard for most people to totally understand how another man feels..

You get a bloke talking of harming his self or being unhappy..its a hard thing to get ya mind right..

Been there myself were I have said to others..sort ya shit out..man up..

 

How wrong was I lol

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Blimey this is all very deep !....cant say as ive ever had much experience of folk with real mental issues beyond a few suicides of people you barely knew but something a few years back had a bit of an effect on me its probably an age thing where things that never bothered you before now do and you suddenly grow a conscience from somewhere...but as a few folk will know i did a bit of jail again a few years back and its all a lot different doing time in your 50's to doing it in your 20's and i avoided all the silliness and ego shit that gets you into trouble and just kept my nut down this time....having got moved from a London jail to an Essex one i came across a lad i didnt know but he knew me etc and we struck up a nice little friendship i kind of took him under my wing so to speak we would eat together,train and chat about life,i saw a lot of myself in him at that age and almost as a way of passing the time he became a bit of a " project " showing him how to exercise/diet/ generally how to carry himself as a man.....as anyone who's been behind the door for a decent amount of time will tell you the friendships you make in there are not like outside and for all the " we'll keep in touch on the out " you never do....but i promised this lad i would as i came out first and wanker i am i never gave him a second thought only to hear about a year later that he had hanged himself.....he was a nice kid and it affected me for a while and taught me that regardless what a persons standing is in life you have to have a level of honesty,respect and understanding towards peoples lives and feelings.....so all the best to anyone struggling.

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