Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 I think it's about time to face the fact that my game is up. I sleep on a futon. That itself is laid on pallets. Net result is that I'm laying nine inches off the floor. Just for fun; Any of you fifty or more? Get a nine inch block. Sit on it. Then sample getting up, using no hands or grabbing anything. Just stand straight up. I expect, even at that age, you'll realise you're no longer as young and subtle as you once were. I'm a fukking sight older that fifty. And my futon is no where near as solid as a block. When I wake up, I sit there, on the edge, and have to use my bones, muscles and balance to get upright, in one, fluid movement. " Muscles ". There's a fukking laugh! Balance?! Believe me, kiddoes; That goes right out the fukking window, with the onset of deafness. And I'm 90% deaf! Oh, and this fukking floor slopes to the foot of my futon like a four in one. Result? I woke up, today. Sat on the edge. Marked that none of my dogs were too close, should I not make it and my arse crash back down on them and, with an almighty effort; " Mmmthh!!! ". Up I went, like a rocket! Straight away loosing all control and staggering, hell for leather, across the room! Actually quite fukking terrifying, because I genuinely have No Fukking Idea where I'm going, or where I may crash land! It's all horrifyingly fast! 'Luckily', this time my forarm smashed against my toad tank. Driving it back a couple of inches but, thank fukk, not breaking the glass! Else I'd be laying there, bleeding out. Not typing this lament! I think this one truly was The Gypsys Warning, people I need to get some of those nine inch x seventeen blocks in here. Have a stronger lad or two lift the lot and get my futon, pallets 'n all higher off the floor. kay. Fukk it, I admit it: It's even got me thinking abut one of those hand rails, on the wall, at the head. So I can pull myself up. Maybe one in the shower. In case? Anyone of you found this amusing? Good for you. Have that one on me. I don't mind. And don't you mind if I don't snigger along with ye. Fukk This. 5 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 44,191 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 Or you could just buy a higher bed ? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 Don't like bed mattresses, mate. It's the feeling of a futon. Not the height. Used to sleep on the floor, before I discovered futons. But, imagine the drama now; Trying to get up off the floor! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 (edited) Naah. Be a terrible world of dog hair and spiders webs, Sid. Fukking bad enough as it is, just one pallet deep. I have to occasionally lift the futon. Get the hoover in there. And Fill the fukking thing! Blocks would be better all round. More air circulation. Easier to get off. And I could sweep out beneath it. Besides; I build a wooden box, to contain / cover my futon and its pallets. Stop the dogs getting on it in day time. I could support that on the blocks, along with the current pallets, and I'd just have an elevated futon. Bung more pallets under the ones already there? I'd look like something out of San Francisco! Here it is, as is, see? Take the dog beds off. Raise the lid ~ which hooks to the wall. Drop the side bit, so my leg doesn't stick out and rest on the edge of a plank (!) And, the futon's in there. Good as gold. It just needs to be higher now. And, with blocks? When I get Really seriously fukked? I can just add more. Then roll off and die! Edited September 12, 2021 by Ken's Deputy Typed futons when I mean't pallets. FFS. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Astanley 11,465 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 4 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said: Naah. Be a terrible world of dog hair and spiders webs, Sid. Fukking bad enough as it is, just one pallet deep. I have to occasionally lift the futon. Get the hoover in there. And Fill the fukking thing! Blocks would be better all round. More air circulation. Easier to get off. And I could sweep out beneath it. Besides; I build a wooden box, to contain / cover my futon and its pallets. Stop the dogs getting on it in day time. I could support that on the blocks, along with the current pallets, and I'd just have an elevated futon. Bung more pallets under the ones already there? I'd look like something out of San Francisco! Here it is, as is, see? Take the dog beds off. Raise the lid ~ which hooks to the wall. Drop the side bit, so my leg doesn't stick out and rest on the edge of a plank (!) And, the futon's in there. Good as gold. It just needs to be higher now. And, with blocks? When I get Really seriously fukked? I can just add more. Then roll off and die! Did you steal that photo from this month's ,Home and gardens ? 1 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 It's the In Thing, Al. They call it " Shabby Chic ". (Or, as 'Urban Explorers' call it, 'This really creepy place we found today. We think some kunt may actually be Living there!!! We got the fukk out! ') 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,183 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 Oriental style on a side note I seen a pic where someone made a bed complete with headboard from pallets . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArchieHood 3,692 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 I see you've decorated since we cut the hedge.... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Astanley 11,465 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 That mold can't be healthy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 3 minutes ago, forest of dean redneck said: Oriental style on a side note I seen a pic where someone made a bed complete with headboard from pallets . It's no secret that I have a romantic nostalgia / love for things Japanese, mate Regards pallets? Yeah. I've seen amazing things done with them. Funnily enough, I passed my neighbours lace only yesterday. Saw he had a stack of absolutely brand new pallets! Thought to myself then; " I wonder what he's going to do with them? " I mean, this wasn't any random pile he'd happened to have had stuff delivered on. They were all pristine. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 4 minutes ago, Astanley said: That mold can't be healthy Quite possibly not, Al'. I know that. What's a man to do? I have a wide open tank of 220 gallons of flowing water at the foot of the futon, mate. It's a trade off. Pleasure of having my Snapper vs. possibly impinging on my health. I'm getting old. I no longer smoke or drink. Fukk me, I've got to die of something, sometime. If I can die having had the pleasure of having that brilliant creature around me? I can live with that Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 10 minutes ago, sid g said: neither can that bed , not for me anyway my back would be wrecked Au contraire! That's exactly the thing, Sid! A good futon ~ and I don't mean the glorified quilt on a pallet they brought in in the seventies! ~ is fukking Superb for ye bod'! It's not something I can easily put into words, mate. But, they're extremely supportive. It's weird. I'd say it's like a 'soft floor'. But, then we go right back to what it's Not. There's nothing " Soft " about a proper futon. 'Firmly supportive', maybe? You don't tend to sink into it like a mattress. There's next to no give. Hard to explain. The entire Japanese nation can't be far wrong though Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurcherman 887 12,670 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 Buy a new bed and mattress ffs ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldPhil 5,347 Posted September 12, 2021 Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 (edited) I guess they bred em tough in good old Pompey Live yer life the way that you want to fellah.... Edited September 13, 2021 by OldPhil Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2021 19 minutes ago, lurcherman 887 said: Buy a new bed and mattress ffs ! Err ... Try Reading what we've been discussing, before making a kunt of yeself, ffs! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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