Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 Who's got a beard? I don't mean a stubble. Or a goatee. Or something you can stroke. I mean a full on, blows behind you in a wind, 'Mountain Man' type thing. You have? Good. Then may we compare notes, please? See, I have a bit of a beard here. (I actually caught a stray hair, the other day. Realised it was from my glasses level. Reached to my nipple, whilst looking straight ahead) Trouble is; While I read constant whining, from guys attempting to grow a beard, about the itchiness? I've never, ever had one moment of itchy chin while not shaving. But, now?! Fukk me! I swear to god ....! I'm gonna get some hair bands. Try making it a 'pony tail', before bed. I'd have someone braid and bead it, like on Vikings. But ..... So, yeah. I just can't Stand the itching no more! When I wake up. It must be the slight sweat and the hair laying on my chest / neck? But, fukking fibre glass insulation has Nothing on This shit!!! Every Fukking Day now, I wake up and lay there, clawing at my neck and chest. It's fukking Murder! Must be sweat and, what? split ends? Something. I get up ~ scratching. Put a vest on. Get on with my day. But, that waking up, to this shit? I can't take it. I'm actually considering hacking off a couple of years of wild beard Anyone here had similar, please? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArchieHood 3,692 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 You wear a vest......? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchers 2,596 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 Shave it off ya scruffy fecker and wash ya vest.I tried to grow one but at 4days I’m riving my face off,Ya need a medal for that length but some of these fashion guys use oils and all that shit now to condition it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted February 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 33 minutes ago, ArchieHood said: You wear a vest......? Bang! I knew full well I'd hook some kunt with that one! Straight a fukking way, look! Congratulations! What do you call yours? A fukking Singlet?! 23 minutes ago, lurchers said: Shave it off ya scruffy fecker and wash ya vest.I tried to grow one but at 4days I’m riving my face off, Ya need a medal for that length but some of these fashion guys use oils and all that shit now to condition it. Clothes are clean, mate. It's genuinely just it rubbing on my chest. Then that little sheen of sweat before I wake up? I'm fine, all day. I go to sleep fine. It's ~ for some weird reason ~ that point when, hours later, I start Really waking up. And the skin raking begins. As for these skinny latte boys and their oils? Ask Archie! Fukked if I'd know! 15 minutes ago, baker boy said: I've got a full beard keep it in shape tho not like a fckn tramp Ooohh!!! Do you oil and balm it too? Have you got a lishp? I was asking for fellow men. Not fukking hipsters! 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted February 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 3 minutes ago, sid g said: clean shaven now but had the full blow jobs and even a platted one and one with pony tails ,, That's more like it, Sid! Ever set your chest off? I grew mine off of chatting with an old mate who reckoned he grew his to ZZ proportions, then lopped it. Just because. Grew mine as like a daft experiment. It's sort of become part of me now. But, fukking hell, so is my dick. And I'd fukking soon cut That off, if it gave me This level of shit! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchers 2,596 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 2 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said: Bang! I knew full well I'd hook some kunt with that one! Straight a fukking way, look! Congratulations! What do you call yours? A fukking Singlet?! Clothes are clean, mate. It's genuinely just it rubbing on my chest. Then that little sheen of sweat before I wake up? I'm fine, all day. I go to sleep fine. It's ~ for some weird reason ~ that point when, hours later, I start Really waking up. And the skin raking begins. As for these skinny latte boys and their oils? Ask Archie! Fukked if I'd know! Ooohh!!! Do you oil and balm it too? Have you got a lishp? I was asking for fellow men. Not fukking hipsters! just take it off mate you will feel better for it,mine comes through grey now but I wouldn’t mind trying to grow one to see if I can but at the 4day stage I can’t take no more 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted February 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 3 minutes ago, baker boy said: No I don't do fck all to it just keep it clean and tidy and I'm certainly no fckn hipster I Knew I'd hit the mother lode, on here, with this one!!! Me no disappoint! Seriously though; Does yours lay on your chest? It's weird, but, it's only really since this winter, and it getting all over the place, that this has happened. I genuinely wonder if it's me sleeping in too warm an environment? Split ends is another very genuine thought. I had the ends lopped off back last year. It's this fibre glass thing ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted February 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 12 minutes ago, lurchers said: just take it off mate you will feel better for it,mine comes through grey now but I wouldn’t mind trying to grow one to see if I can but at the 4day stage I can’t take no more This is exactly what I was referring to, see? People saying how they tried to grow one. But it itches too bad at Days?! Never had an itchy chin in my life! Shave or not. Seldom enough shaved either. I haven't taken an actual razor to my chin in Decades! Always just used clippers to leave a decent stubble. Suited me. I'm just trying to join up the dots why this thing's causing me such absolute hell in the mornings. Oh, and; Yours comes through gray? Try growing an avalanche! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
low plains drifter 9,459 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 Could be some form of mange Have you been rimming the goat 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
king 11,664 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 14 minutes ago, low plains drifter said: Could be some form of mange Have you been rimming the goat Beardgoatmange Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stumfelter 3,032 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 I thought only children and pensioners wore vests? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArchieHood 3,692 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 2 hours ago, ArchieHood said: You wear a vest......? And you call that a chest.......? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chartpolski 20,378 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, stumfelter said: I thought only children and pensioners wore vests? Don't forget pikeys and Bruce Willis Cheers. Edited February 16, 2021 by chartpolski 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stumfelter 3,032 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 4 minutes ago, chartpolski said: Don't forget pikeys and Bruce Willis Cheers. I bet he looks more like Rab c Nesbitt. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
low plains drifter 9,459 Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 31 minutes ago, king said: Beardgoatmange Get to the chemist for benzyl benzoate Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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