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Daft things the other half say and do


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10 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Groid; I'm happy as all fukk, mate. Ain't no kunt means shit to me. Owe no kunt shit. No kunt ever gonna turn round and take my shit away. No Contract!

What I post bothers you in any way? Well; Ain't life a Bitch?! ?

I'm not sure how to break this to you Ken  but max said hes going to rid you of all your prize possessions whether your there or not  and spend the proceeds on copper cocks 

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What cracks me up with my mrs is the tenuous connections she can make to make something my fault. 

Could right a bloody book on the daft stuff she comes out with , one of the best was : ohhh they want killing them suicide bombers and we,ve not had a bbq since the last one ? ?

Think my Mrs favourite saying is " I haven't seen it ". She has, can't remember she has, can't remember were she has put it. Drives me insane. I was putting up a light in the kitchen one day. Put

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? I honestly have no real response to that! I guess I just don't 'get' the whole Max thing?

This is me, see? Found he was clogging up entire threads with his - to me - meaningless arguments. Put him on Ignore. (Easy Life!)

Lately? Checked a couple of his replies, to threads I was more curious about? Found he'd calmed down :)  He's off my shit list now.

But, case in point! Isn't dear Max more likely to go incandescent off the back of some perceived slight  to his wife?! Boom! My point, entirely! ?

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Caught my missus closing all the curtains on the north side of the house during summer.

I asked her why was she doing this

her answer “ I don’t want the sun blearing thru the windows”

 

my reply “ if the fckn sun is north of the house we are fckd”

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Think my Mrs favourite saying is " I haven't seen it ". She has, can't remember she has, can't remember were she has put it. Drives me insane.

I was putting up a light in the kitchen one day. Put my hand down for the screwdriver, gone. What have you done with the screwdriver? "haven't touched it" buggered if I could find it. So got another out of my toolbox, two hours later I found it in the cutlery draw.

Cheers Arry

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5 hours ago, Arry said:

Think my Mrs favourite saying is " I haven't seen it ". She has, can't remember she has, can't remember were she has put it. Drives me insane.

I was putting up a light in the kitchen one day. Put my hand down for the screwdriver, gone. What have you done with the screwdriver? "haven't touched it" buggered if I could find it. So got another out of my toolbox, two hours later I found it in the cutlery draw.

Cheers Arry

Just showed this to mine and she said that I do that,this is coming from a woman who had put the polish in the fridge

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58 minutes ago, wilbur foxhound said:

Just showed this to mine and she said that I do that,this is coming from a woman who had put the polish in the fridge

I could not find the TV remote one day look high and low down the back of the sofas under sofas. It was in the bloody bathroom.

Cheers Arry

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Oh ffs she's come home with another one ?‍♂️?????

Fuucking nobhead has just bought a table for her gaff. Arrives to the woman's house to pick it up, with her mate (nope I'm not helping with my back lol) Took the pair of them half an hour to get it out of the door (spacial awareness isn't one of her strong points).... then the daft twats realised they had a table, two chairs and had to walk half a klick and there's only the two of them to carry 3 things between them, so they sat down for a minute to think about it (Don't! I know ?‍♂️). They eventually get to her gaff and the fuucking thing wont fit in her lift (her flat is on the fifth floor ?) So this pair of Welsh girls have then decided to then take the legs off it with a knife (it has bolts, not screws, yes I did ask what's wrong with a screwdriver initially lol). The pair of them then had to carry this table up what can only be described as 5 flights of stairs that are tighter than a ducks arse. Before they measured her door! ?????? They eventually managed to get it in through her door and into the gaff......

This was the story directly out of her mouth when she just walked through the door ?‍♂️ and she's surprised I'm creasing on the floor ?‍♂️?

 

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