Foodies Of The Massive; My Curry?

[South hams hunter 8,837]

7 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Well; Just like a good wine, this thread's maturing quite delightfully!

Fascinating article about " 19 Crimes " here: https://www.bustle.com/p/19-crimes-wine-is-based-on-the-dark-history-of-actual-infamous-convicts-11489059 Very relevant to what I'm about to relate below.

Here's a funny thing, considering: Some of my direct ancestors got bitched pawdel. Gt. Gt. Uncle, or there abouts. Maternal side. Surname of B****. K?

Well, B**** is a name one can find attached to landed gentry and all sorts, back in the day. West countryish sort of name. But, there were two or three brothers by the name. Seem to think I found them living around the Welsh border, at the time?

 Gypsys, of course. But, one of them was an absolute fukking lunatic and ended up trying to cut his wifes throat! (Gleaned all this from the proper, official records and news paper reports, ages ago)

Well, One guy being a complete fruit cake is a case of " Shit Happens. " But, when, generations later, the males of that same line are Still being referred to as " Wicked, evil " men?! Fukk me!!! 'How many flies' material!

What's more, I've been in touch with fellow genealogists around the world and, guess what? Same Fukking Stories!!! It Literally appears to be  a bad gene. Like one of these inheritable diseases, which stand a good chance of being passed to your kids? The men of that line tend to be born inherently fukking evil and violent!

Now, here's the kicker! B**** is now a Massive name in Australia. Business wise. Ironically, I make my Home Brew with Coopers kits. Coopers are the biggest HB kit producers in Aus. And, their CEO's name is ..... (Fan fare! Roll of drums .....) B****!!!!!

Now, Finally; We all know the trait found in the most successful of businessmen. And, to this very moment, I ask myself:

Is the B' name so big, in Aus, because some filthy rich, landed gent took himself out there and used his money well?

Or, are the B's doing the Rupert Murdoch thing out there, today, descendants of my people; A practically unheard of little group of Gypsys who are ~ it would seem ~ 'to this day' producing psychopathic  male children, by default?

  That's a fukking thought, isn't it?! Generation after generation of line bred lunatics! Wow!

Happily, of course; Only the Males appear to carry and bestow this trait. I'm out of a Female side of the line. Further 'protected' by a side step into another tribe Sane and harmless as any other raving fukking lunatic then!

Pass us that bottle, Phil .....

The b*****ds own kitley estate in yealmpton.

[Tyla 3,179]

Csuliflower and broccoli. They soak up flavours amazingly well

[Greyman 25,248]

17 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

   That's the exact one I'm looking at following too!

My only problem is that bloody fresh coriander. Everywhere I've looked ~ and I'm looking! ~ it boils down to a fukking great pot of onions. Then, dump a small armful of weeds on top and shove them down. Then, it's all just a spoonful of this and a pinch of that.

  I can get red peppers. Green peppers. Chili peppers. Garlic. Even fresh ginger, amazingly. (Nods to Wilf; You're absolutely correct. It obviously will be in the " Curry Powder " I use. But, like in this recipe, it's practically a homeopathic presence)

  I need to crack the enigma: How much dried / powdered coriander? I really Hate having to go down that road. Knowing I'll never experience precisely what Al's gone to such lengths to bring us. It just can't be helped

And, what would sir suggest go with my eventual pukka curry? Nice bottle of Australian Shiraz, perhaps?

Shops like Lidl and Asda sell fresh pots of it or bags of the leaves, that’s coriander by the way it’s available everywhere here

[Ken's Deputy 4,456]

8 hours ago, South hams hunter said:

The b*****ds own kitley estate in yealmpton.

Indeed they do, mate! But, that's the B...... family. Mine were B....

[Nicepix 5,650]

Let's try and make this easy:

For a curry that will serve four (you can freeze any you don't use immediately):

Two onions, one and a half in the blender, the other half chopped roughly and put in a separate bowl.

One whole red pepper. 3/4 in the blender the rest chopped into bite size pieces and put in the bowl with the onions and add a chopped up potato or a similar amount of chopped butternut squash.

In the blender: add about 1" of  ginger tuber grated, two heaped tea spoons of tomato puree paste, level tea spoon of salt, half a tea spoon of curry powder, one heaped teaspoon each of cumin, ground coriander, tikka masala or garam masala powder, paprika and turmeric. Half a teaspoon of Cayenne pepper or hot chilli powder. Whizz that lot up and then add a tablespoon of oil then whizz it again. Add more oil in small quantities to make the contents, the onions, peppers & spices run together in a paste.

Scrape the paste into a frying pan that has been pre-heated over a high heat for at least 30 seconds. Let the paste warm up until it is really hot, stirring all the time. Cook the paste over a high heat for at least three minutes and then put in the meat and stir it to cover all surfaces and brown it. Cook the meat for at least three minutes. Then add half of a small carton of coconut milk and stir in. Keep the heat up and stir the ingredients well. Once the sauce is simmering  add the onions, peppers and squash / potato pieces and the rest of the coconut milk. Keep stirring for a couple of minutes then put the whole lot into a casserole dish with a lid on and cook in the oven for at least an hour at 150C. It pays to pre-heat the oven and casserole dish whole cooking the curry. If you want to add volume add two heaped tablespoons of lentils or half a tin of chick peas (rinse and strain them first).

That will give you a better curry than those curry sauce in a jar and takes about half an hour from start to putting the casserole dish in the oven.

[Ken's Deputy 4,456]

Haven't got an oven

[neil82 1,008]

33 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Haven't got an oven

use the same recipe but use what you have got on a low setting, you seem limited, is this due to finance or space, combi microwave might be a good choice for you to add to your cooking gear, the one I`ve got on oven setting can pre-heat to 200 c in about 3 minutes, never used the grill as i`ve now got a gas cooker to use but it might be time to experiment as the gas grill is shit

 

[chartpolski 20,409]

On 08/10/2020 at 21:28, Ken's Deputy said:

   That's the exact one I'm looking at following too!

My only problem is that bloody fresh coriander. Everywhere I've looked ~ and I'm looking! ~ it boils down to a fukking great pot of onions. Then, dump a small armful of weeds on top and shove them down. Then, it's all just a spoonful of this and a pinch of that.

  I can get red peppers. Green peppers. Chili peppers. Garlic. Even fresh ginger, amazingly. (Nods to Wilf; You're absolutely correct. It obviously will be in the " Curry Powder " I use. But, like in this recipe, it's practically a homeopathic presence)

  I need to crack the enigma: How much dried / powdered coriander? I really Hate having to go down that road. Knowing I'll never experience precisely what Al's gone to such lengths to bring us. It just can't be helped

And, what would sir suggest go with my eventual pukka curry? Nice bottle of Australian Shiraz, perhaps?

As has been said, fresh coriander is readily available. From super markets like Aldi and Asda growing in small pots, for about 70p.

Any paki shop has fresh bunches of coriander.

Its very easy grown from seed in a pot of compost.

I always use fresh, never dried, in curries.

Cheers.

[Ken's Deputy 4,456]

Certainly not finances, Neil. Space isn't really an issue either. It's more just " WTF would I Do with a whole, fukking great oven?! "

Had one before. Came with the property I bought. Ended up making Dog Biscuits in it a few times. Just because.

No. If I can just - and I will - suss out the dried weed ratio? Sorted! I'll buy a big stock pot. I have my table top hot plate. I can make the gravy I have my eye on and Old Phil pointed to

I also want to figure out how mush of the gravy will do for my usual curry. Then, I can buy the right sized boxes to freeze such portions in. See? Easy life!

[Ken's Deputy 4,456]

2 minutes ago, chartpolski said:

As has been said, fresh coriander is readily available. From super markets like Aldi and Asda growing in small pots, for about 70p.

Any paki shop has fresh bunches of coriander.

Its very easy grown from seed in a pot of compost.

No Aldi or Asda round me, Charts. I'm also blessed in that there's no paki shops either.

As I think I might have said, amongst all the above? I looked into growing it. Seems I've missed the season. And glass or lights isn't an option for me.

[Ken's Deputy 4,456]

Air Fryers, Rustoleum? I'll google those, in a minute, just out of fascination. Thanks.

I must admit; I'm a fukker for a cooking gadget. Only trouble is, I now have way too many things, discarded and wasting space in my back room. Steamers, Slow Cookers, Rice Cooker, some fukking thing I can't remember the name of. Halogen Oven! That's it!

Now, I have this EPC and it's Most of those, rolled into one. Plus it Pressure Cooks and so chucks out a feast in next to no time Takes up fukk all space or electric. And, if it dies? I'll order a new one, there and then, and won't even feel it!

 

Can I just establish two things, germane to all this, please?

1. I'm a very simple bloke. Simple tastes. I microwave frozen chips. I microwave my pork loin chops. Been eating like this for decades now. I'm really good at it and quite happy.

2. I hate the sense that some people think I'm bemoaning anything. " Oh, there's no Liddl round here. Woe is fukking me then. " Etc. Fact is? I wouldn't set foot in those shit houses. No more than I'd go in a paki run place. I'd sooner order on line and wait.

So, yeah, I'm Not Moaning. Not trying to make obstacles against peoples well meant advice. When I ask a simple question? Be pretty well assured that I've considered the crap out of my options. That's why I'll often 'appear' dismissive or like I'm not reading your response.

Air Fryer though? Must look that up! Not that I'm into fried much

[chartpolski 20,409]

13 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said:

No Aldi or Asda round me, Charts. I'm also blessed in that there's no paki shops either.

As I think I might have said, amongst all the above? I looked into growing it. Seems I've missed the season. And glass or lights isn't an option for me.

You can grow it on a window sill in a pot, but get seeds for growing, not the packets of seeds for cooking.

I had no luck growing from the cooking seeds, then I was told they are treated and infertile.

I now use the growing seeds, they are available in season from the likes of B&Q, Poundstretcher, etc. Or available from the likes of Sutton seeds online any time.

Coriander is an absolute must for Indian curry, and for most Arabic dishes.

Cheers.

[Nicepix 5,650]

10 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Haven't got an oven

A large slow cooker will do. About a tenner from a charity shop or thirty quid new. Just have to leave it cooking for a few hours.

[Ken's Deputy 4,456]

Been, basically, studying fukking stock pots ever since! I'm determined to follow Al's recipe to the letter. Found a nice one. A score. " Tower ". Good, British make?

Then, on a nasty little hunch ..... Made In China!!! Fukk them! Found a lovely looking one, fifty quid. Name I didn't know ..... Googled like fukk. Eventually pinned it down. Kuntz!

 Absolutely top of the range is the only english made available now. £120+? I was tempted! Getting desperate!

 Finally cracked it!

Italian made. Bloody good make, apparently, without getting into the realms of hand made, life time guaranteed shit. What good's a fukking life time guarantee to me?!

Start buying up an array of spices next. Biggest problem is? I genuinely haven't got a clue what all these different curry names mean! And, the name denotes which spices to use.

Never mind. My plan is to make a shit ton of this " Basic Gravy ". Freeze the lot in a square bucket. Then, tip it out and have at it with my reciprocating saw! Cut it up into 'portions'. Bag them and throw 'em back in the freezer! How clever's that? Beat the fukk out of buying tons of little boxes. Or trying to dollop the wet stuff into bags

I enjoy my life!

[WILF 44,291]

See if you can lift and old black iron pot from one of those street traders on a town market day, much better and will last long after you ain’t here any more.