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Foodies Of The Massive; My Curry?


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Argh!!! I checked her out. Shit ton easier on the eye than Al'. (I happen to have a thing for Indian girls anyway :spiteful:)

But, hell, no! The way she just says, like: " And some salt. " And scrapes it in with her fingers, probably still looking at the cameras???

No! I just can't work that way. I need Precision in my life. I moved heaven and earth ~ and paid royally! ~ to get my British made measuring spoons 'n shit. I need 'One table spoon of this. Half a Teaspoon of that. "

 " A pinch of ... " is about enough to give me a nervous breakdown! Define it!!!

 

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That's a very basic curry ,no chillies ,tomatoes ,spice ,herbs ,Pakistani pubic hairs ?

Oh, you poor, miserable fukkas!!! You weren't here, tonight, to help me get amongst These!!! Al' Rocks!  Nuff fukking said!!!

Oh; Dear Fukking God!!! Sorry. I Know I said I'd put a shot on 'What's Cooking'. But, why break from This thread, to show what amounts to the Culmination of all this? I tried to take a grea

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12 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Argh!!! I checked her out. Shit ton easier on the eye than Al'. (I happen to have a thing for Indian girls anyway :spiteful:)

But, hell, no! The way she just says, like: " And some salt. " And scrapes it in with her fingers, probably still looking at the cameras???

No! I just can't work that way. I need Precision in my life. I moved heaven and earth ~ and paid royally! ~ to get my British made measuring spoons 'n shit. I need 'One table spoon of this. Half a Teaspoon of that. "

 " A pinch of ... " is about enough to give me a nervous breakdown! Define it!!!

 

K D, wouldn't it be easier, and far less stressful, just to make a nice salad?  ?

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I reckon I've blown rotis wide open!!! :boogy: :clapper: :yahoo:

To start with? I used my proper, " Atta " flour. Like they do in India. I must say; Opening the sack, it Does look like nothing I've yet worked with. I can only best describe it as whole wheat, ground as fine as plain?

 

Anyway, next trick was to follow the method described Here (Clicky). Note the use of boiling water, which they say does all sorts of chemical reaction things with the flour.

Weighed the flour to the gram. Water was a bit more tricky though as I haven't got the scales to weigh water ~ yet. Mine was sticky. I've had that before but remedied it. Used 3/4 cup of water? Next time I'll try Half.

Anyway, so on and so forth. Ooh! I also noticed they sat 250c for the pan? And an infra red thermometer can sort that out? Due on Monday! :D

Meanwhile though, I fukked about with the gas ring like a Boss! Next thing I know? Fukking first one's ballooning up like it's gonna explode! :boogy:I even tossed one on the open flame, like they do? Balloon!!!!! I've Finally done it! :toast:

Seriously; I need to make a clip of this, next time 8)

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2 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

I reckon I've blown rotis wide open!!! :boogy: :clapper: :yahoo:

To start with? I used my proper, " Atta " flour. Like they do in India. I must say; Opening the sack, it Does look like nothing I've yet worked with. I can only best describe it as whole wheat, ground as fine as plain?

 

Anyway, next trick was to follow the method described Here (Clicky). Note the use of boiling water, which they say does all sorts of chemical reaction things with the flour.

Weighed the flour to the gram. Water was a bit more tricky though as I haven't got the scales to weigh water ~ yet. Mine was sticky. I've had that before but remedied it. Used 3/4 cup of water? Next time I'll try Half.

Anyway, so on and so forth. Ooh! I also noticed they sat 250c for the pan? And an infra red thermometer can sort that out? Due on Monday! :D

Meanwhile though, I fukked about with the gas ring like a Boss! Next thing I know? Fukking first one's ballooning up like it's gonna explode! :boogy:I even tossed one on the open flame, like they do? Balloon!!!!! I've Finally done it! :toast:

Seriously; I need to make a clip of this, next time 8)

Thank f**k for that.....

 

 

 

And well done...?

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On 02/07/2021 at 14:24, Ken's Deputy said:

 Ooh! I also noticed they say 250c for the pan? And an infra red thermometer can sort that out? Due on Monday! :D

 

This thing is fukking Great! :D Within minutes, I knew the temperature of my dog. Myself. My kitchen. This room. My turtles water. Come near me and I'll take your fukking temperature! ?

 

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Seriously though; It's got to be the ultimate weapon against dodgy rotis. I'll mark off exactly where, on my gas rings dial, equals 250c. Then, I can just whack it up there, every time, in future. Look forward to authentic balloons :)

 

Meanwhile? Just as I start to thing I can knock out decent rotis? I come across These fukkers!!! OMFG! :icon_eek:

 

 

 

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:icon_eek: Guys! I just Have To record this!

I had one of 'my' / Al's Beef (EPC) curries, today. With the first of my latest, winning formula rotis.

O M F G!!! Even with sixty seconds, on high, in the 800W micro; Those mofo's Blistered Like Fukk!!!

Today, I honestly believe, I experienced the closest thing I've ever come to what an Indian person would consider passable as some semblance of a roti!

They were floppy. They had a web like structure, inside. They were Soft! Fukking Delicious! :boogy:

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  • 1 month later...

Well; Today was the nearest thing I ever got to an unmitigated fukking disaster. Pretty much from the time I crawled out of my pit! ?

Alright. It wasn't That bad. But, I was definitely working against the current.

I'd Finally got my kilo of chickens tits out the freezer, last night. Absolutely fukking Determined to try this Chicken Do Pyazza I've had my eye on.

Literally got the bowl ready, to put the tits in, once I'd cut them up? Putting that on the side when my fukking neighbour arrives, to weld my hand rail for me!

Could have been worse, of course. Five minutes later and I'd have had a pile of chopped and non chopped chicken sitting there ?

Got the work done. Diced the meat. Marinated it and stuck it in the fridge. Promptly ran out of beer! Had to fukk off out for beer. But, that gave me the opportunity to grab some garlic. I'd figured I'd have to make do without.

Back home, beers and bulbs in hand. Get to it. Granted, my temperatures are a bit hit and miss. Recipe just says shit like " Low Flame ". WTF's that, on an electric plate?

Anyway, I did my best. Then, I added the two cups of water she says. Fukk! I shouldn't have done that! Instant chicken soup! That's where it all broke down :(

I left if bubbling so long, trying to burn off all that water? Every trace of onion in there got vaporised. FFS. The whole point of it is to have those al dente petals of onion. All I got was mush.

Oh well. Rome, 'n all that ?

 

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Where's Jiggy, to give it his usual " ? " ? I mean, That never gets old, does it?

Wasn't so bad, in honesty. Wasn't so special either. Less fiery than my usual beef madrass. Chicken was tender. Reckon I about boiled all the flavour out of it though :(

Got four more portions, heading for the freezer. I'll eat them. No worries. But; Huge fukking disappointment, all things considered.

At least I know where I went wrong. Everything was great, till I slung in all that water.

Is the moral of the story; " Stick With Al'! " ?

 

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13 minutes ago, OldPhil said:

Al has Covid....and even worse, he has lost his sense of taste....I feel for the poor guy..?

Even though I gave your post a laughing emoji, I suppose it isn't that funny really.  ? ...................

? ?

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22 minutes ago, OldPhil said:

Al has Covid....and even worse, he has lost his sense of taste....I feel for the poor guy..?

Saw that, last night, mate! No crueller fate for a man with his life!

What ever's wrong with him, we can't but wish him the very best and fullest recovery.

Like chopping the wings off a skylark, otherwise.

 

(Trying to tag you on the Big Cats thread, Phil! -

Why is that shit intermittent with me?!)

 

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