What's happening in your garden.

[gnasher16 29,607]

On 18/08/2020 at 11:30, fireman said:

There a weed and get it back in and with luck it'll get going again, i was once in a car with a couple of pals with a amount of funny money and the driver got a call from the old bill asking him to pull over.We checked behind us but saw no police car and i told him to feck it and keep going,he paniced and threw out the window a couple of grand of £20 notes.5 mins later another pals rings me and tells me about the joke he's just played on our other pal who is driving somewhere where he pretended to be a copper following him.....

I love hearing daft stories like that when we was kids about school leaving age a lot of lads round our way would form into little gangs and groups and go out on the thieve,petty crime etc....there was one lad,a proper dry lunch type didnt know his arse from his elbow who thought our little mob was the bees knees and was always pestering us to come out....we told him we had this big job lined up that would set us all up for life,we told him we had the local post master squared away,we would get in someone would give him a clump then we,d f**k off with the dough,take it home,carve it up between us then all go our separate ways.....well this lad was gagging for it so we strung him along with a date about a month away ( none of us had the bollocks to actually do it by the way  ).......we then told him that we had all been using an old fashioned rasping file to take the skin off our fingertips so as not to leave any prints....we said every few days once the skin starts growing back you,ve got to go at them again with the file and then once you,ve taken all your skin off 7 or 8 times it grows back smooth and so wont leave any dabs ....this lad was so desperate to get in with us that lo and behold every few nights for a month he was literally walking around in tears,hands covered in bandages he was an absolute mess.... his mum had to get the council out as she thought she had rats from finding spots of blood all round the house ...........needless to say he was none too pleased when we told him it had all been a wind up......if anyones ever seen the football hooligan film The Firm it was like the scene when they get the divvie lad to cut himself with the Stanley knife,only much more elaborate.....looking back we was probably horrible little c**ts but seemed hilarious at the time.

[JDHUNTING 1,817]

On 18/08/2020 at 05:00, Ted Newgent said:

Fckn pissed off

i got a no caller I’d phone call leaving me voicemail today saying it was the local cops coming to my house with a warrant saying I had more than 4 plants growing. I was 2hrs from my house so I called my lad to rip up the 2 smallest plants.

then I get a text off a bloke to call him, so I did. He then laughs saying it was him calling me.

call my lad back and yup too late he pulled 2 plants. 
I get home, fckn mad, then I see my fckn lad didn’t pull the 2 small plants but 2 that were 6 fckn feet tall

 

i could cry

thats what’s happening in my fckn garden

Did ya not think for even a second it was strange the old bill ringing you up out the blue to tell you they were coming 

Fair do's

I got some seeds for you here they look just like sunflower seeds and plants do too but it's gange honest £100 a seed, if you buy 10 I'll chuck a few free ones in, what about it eh?

[kinkell 787]

Not in my garden but up my friends driveway

[Greb147 6,808]

33 minutes ago, kinkell said:

Not in my garden but up my friends driveway

Kinnell, I'm lucky to get a spuggy in mine. 

[kinkell 787]

there is a nest couple of hundred yards from the drii

[Ted Newgent 4,896]

6 hours ago, JDHUNTING said:

Did ya not think for even a second it was strange the old bill ringing you up out the blue to tell you they were coming 

Fair do's

I got some seeds for you here they look just like sunflower seeds and plants do too but it's gange honest £100 a seed, if you buy 10 I'll chuck a few free ones in, what about it eh?

no i didnt think it was strange,had the local horse cops phone me up before no

keep your seeds i have plenty

[JDHUNTING 1,817]

1 hour ago, Ted Newgent said:

no i didnt think it was strange,had the local horse cops phone me up before no

keep your seeds i have plenty

Cops phoning you regular aye, sure they not grass seeds.

[lurcherman 887 12,670]

Not much happening in my garden 

[Ted Newgent 4,896]

10 hours ago, JDHUNTING said:

Cops phoning you regular aye, sure they not grass seeds.

You’re hilarious 

 

[Daniel cain 42,800]

16 hours ago, lurcherman 887 said:

Not much happening in my garden 

Museum kev?  

[lurcherman 887 12,670]

6 hours ago, Daniel cain said:

Museum kev?  

Hotel mate 

[Daniel cain 42,800]

1 hour ago, lurcherman 887 said:

Hotel mate 

What's the room service like?  

[DIDO.1 20,804]

15 hours ago, lurcherman 887 said:

Hotel mate 

No way, Where's that? 

Is it actually an old prison or just made to look like that? 

Edited August 24, 2020 by DIDO.1

[Greyman 25,155]

13 hours ago, Daniel cain said:

What's the room service like?  

When you come over the Severn bridge one of the big sites going up along the foreshore is a super prison, very American no guards all electric screen monitored, and horfield is being turned into flats for the trendy

[Greyman 25,155]

15 hours ago, lurcherman 887 said:

Hotel mate 

The lack of catch nets for the nonces between floors was the giveaway