Jump to content

fire/dogs/police helicopter.


Recommended Posts

i,m a compulsive trespasser.allways have been..hahaha..every sat night for the last few weeks, [i choose a differant wood every week].. i stick the rucksack on, and take a frying pan/pitza/couple bottles of beer etc, nowt special, get on me bike saddle the dogs up and of i set... gets all cosy, fire on etc,becomes a nice clear night me thinks for shooting stars.anyways i live right next to the marshes and notices this helicopter .thinking hes heading out to the rigs etc.thought no more, till he appears again doing a big wide circle.now i live on the flatlands no hills in this part of lincs apart from this one field in front of me,which is spoils from years ago when they worked the salt. anyway dogs start kicking of and with that torches appear on the horizon .with that this helicopter search light come's on, first on these coppers then on me.a strange feeling come's over you when that big beam lights you up..a sort of naked feeling.lol...anyway's in front of me is this deep slippery dike.with that these coppers shout out to me ,[me bike torch had gone dead].so i shout back asking em what they want..

to be continued.....

Link to post
Share on other sites

But for some time now the rain has been thrashing down and everywhere has been so sodden.  I managed to get a bit of time out with the spaniel across the fields and the ground is so sodden that she was sinking into the field.  These fields are like rock in the summer. When we came back home She was so plastered in mud that I had to hose her off outside before a warm shower ect.  Now with these conditions why would anyone want to go out into a wood at night, start a fire and cook a pizza ?  No wonder they came out hunting you down.  Big Brother noted that you weren't inside in the dry watching Eastenders or some crud.  Have they charged you with cruelty to dogs.??   I don't know.  what next.  I suppose that you going to be sectioned as a mad fellow.  Charge 1. Trespass on private land.  2.  Cruelty to animals.  3 Acting in a suspicious manner.  4. causing unauthorised fire  on said private land without the owners permission. 5. criminal damage to trees and stuff.  6 damaging the environment without prior environment surveys and planning. 7 Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  8. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  Painted in non environmentally friendly colours.  9. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. that has bald tyres. 10.  pissing up trees without authorisation. AND allowing dogs to do the same altering the PH balance of the soil ,  thus altering the natural balance of the ground without proper scientific survey of the environmental effect.  Well there's 10 to be going on with..  You'll get let off with a severe warning about taking dogs out in inclement weather and the pushbike will be taken and crushed as a tool of rural crime.  ?

  • Confused 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, byron said:

i,m a compulsive trespasser.allways have been..hahaha..every sat night for the last few weeks, [i choose a differant wood every week].. i stick the rucksack on, and take a frying pan/pitza/couple bottles of beer etc, nowt special, get on me bike saddle the dogs up and of i set... gets all cosy, fire on etc,becomes a nice clear night me thinks for shooting stars.anyways i live right next to the marshes and notices this helicopter .thinking hes heading out to the rigs etc.thought no more, till he appears again doing a big wide circle.now i live on the flatlands no hills in this part of lincs apart from this one field in front of me,which is spoils from years ago when they worked the salt. anyway dogs start kicking of and with that torches appear on the horizon .with that this helicopter search light come's on, first on these coppers then on me.a strange feeling come's over you when that big beam lights you up..a sort of naked feeling.lol...anyway's in front of me is this deep slippery dike.with that these coppers shout out to me ,[me bike torch had gone dead].so i shout back asking em what they want..

to be continued.....

Wat U Wann......  Did the coppers reply " ere mate you ain't got a spare burger and a nice cup of tea going wanting have you"?   ?

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, byron said:

anyway dogs start kicking of and with that torches appear on the horizon .with that this helicopter search light come's on, first on these coppers then on me.a strange feeling come's over you when that big beam lights you up..a sort of naked feeling.lol...anyway's in front of me is this deep slippery dike.with that these coppers shout out to me ,

[me bike torch had gone dead].so i shout back asking em what they want..

NO'. I see the excuse.  You were out taking the dogs for a walk.  it got dark and your bike torch went dead,  you got lost and ended up in the middle of a wood and couldn't proceed because the way was blocked by a deep slippery ditch.  You had no option but to make a fire to feed the pizza to the dogs and keep them warm by the fire and wait. it out until daylight.  Simple !

Link to post
Share on other sites

The police helicopter would be last of your worrys if you come on my ground with ya pots,n,pans,and fires and dagws.if you did,nt have any tomahawk steaks on the coals im telling ya fist of fury would follow

Edited by Qbgrey
  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Meece said:

But for some time now the rain has been thrashing down and everywhere has been so sodden.  I managed to get a bit of time out with the spaniel across the fields and the ground is so sodden that she was sinking into the field.  These fields are like rock in the summer. When we came back home She was so plastered in mud that I had to hose her off outside before a warm shower ect.  Now with these conditions why would anyone want to go out into a wood at night, start a fire and cook a pizza ?  No wonder they came out hunting you down.  Big Brother noted that you weren't inside in the dry watching Eastenders or some crud.  Have they charged you with cruelty to dogs.??   I don't know.  what next.  I suppose that you going to be sectioned as a mad fellow.  Charge 1. Trespass on private land.  2.  Cruelty to animals.  3 Acting in a suspicious manner.  4. causing unauthorised fire  on said private land without the owners permission. 5. criminal damage to trees and stuff.  6 damaging the environment without prior environment surveys and planning. 7 Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  8. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  Painted in non environmentally friendly colours.  9. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. that has bald tyres. 10.  pissing up trees without authorisation. AND allowing dogs to do the same altering the PH balance of the soil ,  thus altering the natural balance of the ground without proper scientific survey of the environmental effect.  Well there's 10 to be going on with..  You'll get let off with a severe warning about taking dogs out in inclement weather and the pushbike will be taken and crushed as a tool of rural crime.  ?

8 an 9 are the same, and are you nosey norris out of corrie 

  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Meece said:

But for some time now the rain has been thrashing down and everywhere has been so sodden.  I managed to get a bit of time out with the spaniel across the fields and the ground is so sodden that she was sinking into the field.  These fields are like rock in the summer. When we came back home She was so plastered in mud that I had to hose her off outside before a warm shower ect.  Now with these conditions why would anyone want to go out into a wood at night, start a fire and cook a pizza ?  No wonder they came out hunting you down.  Big Brother noted that you weren't inside in the dry watching Eastenders or some crud.  Have they charged you with cruelty to dogs.??   I don't know.  what next.  I suppose that you going to be sectioned as a mad fellow.  Charge 1. Trespass on private land.  2.  Cruelty to animals.  3 Acting in a suspicious manner.  4. causing unauthorised fire  on said private land without the owners permission. 5. criminal damage to trees and stuff.  6 damaging the environment without prior environment surveys and planning. 7 Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  8. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  Painted in non environmentally friendly colours.  9. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike.  Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. that has bald tyres. 10.  pissing up trees without authorisation. AND allowing dogs to do the same altering the PH balance of the soil ,  thus altering the natural balance of the ground without proper scientific survey of the environmental effect.  Well there's 10 to be going on with..  You'll get let off with a severe warning about taking dogs out in inclement weather and the pushbike will be taken and crushed as a tool of rural crime.  ?

This is approaching high end consideration

Have you got a loam ?

Link to post
Share on other sites

You blokes got no sense of humour.  It's all sport and entertainment. Think about it.  A bloke goes out into a wood at nightime to cook a pizza when its been thrashing down for weeks and plod turns up with dogs and helicopter.   It's Monty python stuff ffs. When's part 2 coming up.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...