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13 hours ago, keepdiggin said:

Whats people's thoughts on this taboo subject? 

Only taboo it seems if you’re suffering. There’s loads of stuff going on to try and get men to open up and get help. Difficult when we’re virtually hard wired not to.

And I get the whole healthy body healthy mind thing, and staying away from alcohol, and it’s sound advice obviously..., but would also say that it’s no silver bullet. Plenty of fit and healthy young men take their lives because of depression.

A few of the usual arsehole comments written I see too.

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like keith,[iworkwhippets]. i lost my wife thirteen months back.the bestest friend i ever had..it dont get easier. depression in my world can floor me.but i keep busy,even planning what to do the  nex

you must be reading my mind matey, one day last week, my doctor came out to see me, asked how I felt and my thoughts, she asked so I told, suicidal were my thoughts, until a certain person from duggie

Stoney, there is NO GETTING OVER IT. You just need to learn to live with it, and deal with it as best you can. I've suffered from it, and anxiety, since nov 28/19 99, after a really bad accident,

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I suppose it takes all sorts, but I couldn't turn my back on a friend or loved one when they needed me. Where do you draw the line? Dying of cancer - ditch them before they drag you down? Suffering from depression (as opposed to being depressed) - nah, can't be bothered to listen to that. 

People have different needs. It could be they've broken both legs and just need a push down the pub. They might need to get stuff of their chest. They might just be lonely and need to see a friendly face now and again. Different needs are still needs. 

Luckily I've never suffered from depression, but I've been in some very dark places for other reasons in the past and thanks to my mrs being the person she is and some very close friends, all of that is in the distant past. They can be a rock for me, I'll be one for them if ever it's needed. 

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Like many on here I've seen the effects first hand, very close family who I've spent time just walking with at all hours as that was all that they could do to escape the feelings... as a kid I watched my mum have a breakdown, this ain't the place for the whole story but me and my brother was all she had so she wouldn't even let us go to school for a long while... it was a shit little time but she pulled herself through and made a life for us all at that time... there is history of it in my family, along with alcoholism...I dont think its hereditary obviously but I think you can see those around you and perhaps that can influence at times.... I consider myself very lucky to be able to deal with life in a generally positive way, but fully understand that it could change at any time... I'm not stupid enough to think I'm not susceptible as us everyone else...

More recently 2 of my really close mates had completed a couple of tours of Afghanistan, both marines, and both were quite affected..1 lad I spent alot of time with, walking and talking...he was a changed character for a good few months, very confrontational and aggressive where there was no need to be... he still says to me I helped him at that time...I really didn't do anything other than be there when I could.... that's enough sometimes...

 

By the way I completely understand Stewies point, I'm sorry if I'm off the mark mate, but I think its more to do with your sobriety and ensuring your own mind is left "happy", it may seem to some as selfish but alcoholism is a disease and affects your mind, keeping yourself away from people who may bring you down makes some sense to me....

 

I do however think if you were in a long term relationship or if it was a close family member perhaps you would feel different regards offering support...

 

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1 minute ago, NEWKID said:

By the way I completely understand Stewies point, I'm sorry if I'm off the mark mate, but I think its more to do with your sobriety and ensuring your own mind is left "happy", it may seem to some as selfish but alcoholism is a disease and affects your mind, keeping yourself away from people who may bring you down makes some sense to me....

 

I do however think if you were in a long term relationship or if it was a close family member perhaps you would feel different regards offering support...

 

Your not off the mark at all, your spot on tbh.

Maybe I do look at it differently but being stuck in that shit life for years has definitely made me think the way I do on it and I have to be selfish to stop myself going back to it in anyway at all. 

Been there, done that and it’s something I’m more than happy to leave behind!

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12 minutes ago, Stoney100 said:

Your not off the mark at all, your spot on tbh.

Maybe I do look at it differently but being stuck in that shit life for years has definitely made me think the way I do on it and I have to be selfish to stop myself going back to it in anyway at all. 

Been there, done that and it’s something I’m more than happy to leave behind!

Now that is something I think everyone can understand and sympathise with.

 

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22 minutes ago, Stoney100 said:

Your not off the mark at all, your spot on tbh.

Maybe I do look at it differently but being stuck in that shit life for years has definitely made me think the way I do on it and I have to be selfish to stop myself going back to it in anyway at all. 

Been there, done that and it’s something I’m more than happy to leave behind!

Self preservation is the only way sometimes mate...and fair play to you for bettering yourself everyday, it's a tough road!!

 

I would pick you up.on some of your points though...there is no way you can just shake off depression, a trip down the kids cancer ward would not kick someone's brain into "feeling better" and stop them "feeling sorry for themselves"

I think you know probably better than many how hard it is to function when you are mentally unwell, it is a terrible disease and can affect any of us for all sorts of reasons...

I hate moaners as much as the next man, always griping but doing f**k all to better themselves....I dont even.remotely put clinical depression in this bracket though...

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29 minutes ago, NEWKID said:

 

By the way I completely understand Stewies point, I'm sorry if I'm off the mark mate, but I think its more to do with your sobriety and ensuring your own mind is left "happy", it may seem to some as selfish but alcoholism is a disease and affects your mind, keeping yourself away from people who may bring you down makes some sense to me....

 

Im not knocking the chap Stewie as everyones different but the couple of recovering alcoholics ive known closely through our lives both go out of their way to get involved in others battles with the problem.....one is chairman of a local AA group the other spends a few evenings every week " on call " at the same meeting....turning their back or distancing themself from people who came from where they came from wouldnt enter their mind they are grateful for the help they got and want to give that back.....again,not knocking the chap on here maybe they are a little further along the line of recovery.

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6 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Im not knocking the chap Stewie as everyones different but the couple of recovering alcoholics ive known closely through our lives both go out of their way to get involved in others battles with the problem.....one is chairman of a local AA group the other spends a few evenings every week " on call " at the same meeting....turning their back or distancing themself from people who came from where they came from wouldnt enter their mind they are grateful for the help they got and want to give that back.....again,not knocking the chap on here maybe they are a little further along the line of recovery.

I cant speak for him.mate, but my guess is it's fairly early days....

I think you have to be very strong minded and prepared to start offering support....

Again can't speak for Stewie, but I'd say it's like a new start in some ways when you've been in that hole for a long time...enjoying everyday is paramount, perhaps having people around you that could bring you down is not a good thing... 

You've got to be strong in yourself before you can support others I suppose...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or maybe hes just a selfish c**t!! Lol

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9 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Im not knocking the chap Stewie as everyones different but the couple of recovering alcoholics ive known closely through our lives both go out of their way to get involved in others battles with the problem.....one is chairman of a local AA group the other spends a few evenings every week " on call " at the same meeting....turning their back or distancing themself from people who came from where they came from wouldnt enter their mind they are grateful for the help they got and want to give that back.....again,not knocking the chap on here maybe they are a little further along the line of recovery.

I’m two years and 7 months down the line and I’ve helped many a people along the way actually, even some on here tbh and I will probably do it again but right at this moment it’s not a good thing for me to associate with drinkers as I find it takes me back to where I was instead of going where I want to go......I know for a fact I’m still not clear, simply one pint/can, infact one swig, and I’ll be back to square one again and back on it just as bad as I was......but staying away from certain people and situations is something I have to do, I can’t risk everything by being around them even tho they are my closest friends and even family......if I started drinking again it would all be my own fault because it would be my choice to do it and it took me long enough to realise it’s my own decision making that got into that mess but the same decision making that keeps me sober and on the right path......I don’t think you can get much more depressed than when your at the point of waking up at 11am everyday, going straight to the fridge, picking up four cans then going back to bed to drink them and that’s where I was and I’ll do whatever takes to never go back there!

ive done two rehabs, been on the detox wing in prison, been to plenty of meetings etc so I’m unfortunately pretty well schooled in that department.......every single professional person I spoke to said to me “always put yourself first” and it’s the best advice I got ?

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16 minutes ago, NEWKID said:

I cant speak for him.mate, but my guess is it's fairly early days....

I think you have to be very strong minded and prepared to start offering support....

Again can't speak for Stewie, but I'd say it's like a new start in some ways when you've been in that hole for a long time...enjoying everyday is paramount, perhaps having people around you that could bring you down is not a good thing... 

You've got to be strong in yourself before you can support others I suppose...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or maybe hes just a selfish c**t!! Lol

Probably....i was really surprised how organised it all is i actually went with 1 mate its a group called Al Anon which is for friends/family of alcoholics i was surprised how quick they encourage recovering alcoholics to return help it really helped my mate to know he was giving back,i honestly think it helped his sobriety he,s 4 or 5 years down the line now and doing great,from what ive seen of it Alcoholics Anonymous is the saving grace for a huge number of people,fantastic organisation.

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16 minutes ago, NEWKID said:

I cant speak for him.mate, but my guess is it's fairly early days....

I think you have to be very strong minded and prepared to start offering support....

Again can't speak for Stewie, but I'd say it's like a new start in some ways when you've been in that hole for a long time...enjoying everyday is paramount, perhaps having people around you that could bring you down is not a good thing... 

You've got to be strong in yourself before you can support others I suppose...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or maybe hes just a selfish c**t!! Lol

Lol 2 years and 7 months so still relatively early days.....I’m not selfish at all mate and i think you know that ;) 

my phone was like dear Deidres hotline when I first came off the drink with people wanting help......but I always say the same.....the only person who can change it is yourself and if that person is not willing to accept that then there is nothing you can do.....accept it and try to do something about and you have my full attention.....sit there with a can in your hand moaning about not being able to stop it and sorry I’m out 

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9 minutes ago, Stoney100 said:

Lol 2 years and 7 months so still relatively early days.....I’m not selfish at all mate and i think you know that ;) 

my phone was like dear Deidres hotline when I first came off the drink with people wanting help......but I always say the same.....the only person who can change it is yourself and if that person is not willing to accept that then there is nothing you can do.....accept it and try to do something about and you have my full attention.....sit there with a can in your hand moaning about not being able to stop it and sorry I’m out 

Nice one mate...

 

A scouse supporting c**t yes....a selfish c**t..no...lol

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6 minutes ago, Stoney100 said:

I’m two years and 7 months down the line and I’ve helped many a people along the way actually, even some on here tbh and I will probably do it again but right at this moment it’s not a good thing for me to associate with drinkers as I find it takes me back to where I was instead of going where I want to go......I know for a fact I’m still not clear, simply one pint/can, infact one swig, and I’ll be back to square one again and back on it just as bad as I was......but staying away from certain people and situations is something I have to do, I can’t risk everything by being around them even tho they are my closest friends and even family......if I started drinking again it would all be my own fault because it would be my choice to do it and it took me long enough to realise it’s my own decision making that got into that mess but the same decision making that keeps me sober and on the right path......I don’t think you can get much more depressed than when your at the point of waking up at 11am everyday, going straight to the fridge, picking up four cans then going back to bed to drink them and that’s where I was and I’ll do whatever takes to never go back there!

ive done two rehabs, been on the detox wing in prison, been to plenty of meetings etc so I’m unfortunately pretty well schooled in that department.......every single professional person I spoke to said to me “always put yourself first” and it’s the best advice I got ?

Are you the person being referred to as Stewie ?....good luck to you squire your doing great and best of luck along the way.....i cant imagine the struggle myself but have seen it up close so can understand what your saying......if its not rude to ask have you tried AA ?.....i watched my mate do " The Chair " for the first time and was so proud of where he has got to....again i dont know enough to start giving out advice but from what ive seen it really is a positive,good natured and knowledgeable organisation.

That said....i still dont think you really understand what depression is ?

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1 minute ago, gnasher16 said:

Are you the person being referred to as Stewie ?....good luck to you squire your doing great and best of luck along the way.....i cant imagine the struggle myself but have seen it up close so can understand what your saying......if its not rude to ask have you tried AA ?.....i watched my mate do " The Chair " for the first time and was so proud of where he has got to....again i dont know enough to start giving out advice but from what ive seen it really is a positive,good natured and knowledgeable organisation.

That said....i still dont think you really understand what depression is ?

Yes mate that was an old username that has stuck lol 

I do still go the odd AA meeting and few other local groups and they do help out but again it’s not for me right this moment but I will pick them up again at some point I’m sure.

And I do understand it but probably from a different point of view lol 

thank you for the kind comments tho ?

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